I'm pregnant with my second child but feel depressed and keep thinking about abortion

[Grace02]

I actually feel ashamed writing this, but I can't help it's the way I'm feeling right now. I have a 6m old baby from IVF who was much wanted after years and years of trying. After the birth I went on the mini pill, but it brought me out in an awful facial rash, so I came off it and tried to sort a combined pill alternative. Due to the UK lockdown, it's not been easy to get a DRs appointments and considering I couldn't get pregnant before I didn't think much of a month without contraception. I have a loving fiancé, a 3bdroom house, but I can't shake this feeling of depression and not wanting this baby. I Cry every morning after OH's gone to work and I wish I could
Just have a miscarriage. I feel so sick and nauseous I feel it's getting in the way of me caring for my LO who is still so young. I worry about money, how I'll cope with 2 young babies. I can't believe I feel this way after wanting a baby for so long. I'm seriously considering abortion as I just feel I won't cope. Lockdown doesn't help either in me feeling this way not being able to talk to anyone F2F Or even have a hug or a cuppa. I feel so alone and ashamed :(. Has anyone been in a similar situation do things get better?

Hi, I am pregnant with my first child - very much unplanned - and while my situation may be different to yours, my feelings were exactly the same. I cried uncontrollably for two weeks and felt nothing but despair. I researched abortion thoroughly and prayed for a miscarriage. I was in an awful state, and as you say, the lock down and being stuck at home without being able to confide in anyone didn't help. After a couple of weeks, my feelings eventually started to calm down a bit, and now, at 11 weeks, I feel much calmer and more accepting of my pregnancy. I still have thoughts about abortion and miscarriage, but they are more fleeting and generally I am much calmer, although still not excited for happy. I suppose my advice is to let your emotions play out, try to ride the storm, and then hopefully things will improve and you'll get more clarity on how you feel and what you want. I think the important thing is to realise that there's no 'right' or 'wrong' way to feel and you shouldn't feel guilty about any of your thoughts- it's just your brain's natural response to something that has come as a shock. Really hope things improve for you soon xx

Do you have anyone to to about this? The thoughts you are having are normal, it's a lot to get your head around but you don't have to do it alone.

Hi,
I'm pregnant with my second child also. I'm only 5 weeks gone, so still very early days. Baby wasn't planned. I have a beautiful 6 yr old who I adore. I've been up and down this last week since finding out...I've cried every day. I'm so scared of change and I've gotten so used to it being just the 3 of us, I'm scared of it not being the same. Me and the husband spoke occasionally about another but we always felt fulfilled with the one and never had any desire to have another. When I found out I had a split moment of happiness then it hit me! I cried so much. I have a wonderful bond with my boy I cannot imagine loving another the same way. I understand what your going through. I've thought about abortion and while my husband says it's my choice I know how much he wants the baby. I feel ashamed to even talk about terminating but so scared I'm going to feel sadness through the whole pregnancy. I suffer with anxiety so maybe this is why I'm feeling this way. I had an amazing pregnancy with my boy. I'm going to speak with my midwife when I go.
I'd recommend you doing the same. Be honest with your feelings, don't hide them away.
I'm so scared like you but I'm holding onto it getting better!

Just wanted to give an update on here incase anyone is in a similar situation to myself and wanted to know the outcome. I'm now 25 weeks pregnant and dojng so much better. If you're unsure about keeping your baby or you're worried how you'll cope, take time to think, speak to someone before making any decisions. Although I'm still bloody scared! I'm looking forward to welcoming another little miracle into our world

Lovely update!! Wishing all the best with the rest of your pregnancy

So glad to hear you’re doing well OP x