Lm26x · 04/01/2020 18:40
I had a section with my son just over 2 weeks ago and quickly after he arrived things spiraled out of control. I've suffered mental health issues all my life but nothing like this and I picked up on it rather quickly. My pregnancy was no walk in the park I had hyperemesis until 24 weeks and then problems with my pelvis ect and to top the cake I had a partner who was unsupportive and liked to dissapear at the weekends. I feel like my pregnancy was ruined and having another child who is 4 things were stressful. This is my partners first baby but years before us he lost a baby and I feel like he has found it hard to get involved due to this. After giving birth he seemed so in love but 2 days out the hospital he disappeared on a night out. I'm unsure if he is struggling with his mood too as he refuses to communicate but this is having a massive impact on my mental health. I feel like since my baby was born he hasn't even asked if I'm ok or that he actually cares. All I want is some communication and I feel like jm going round in circles. Now the pnd is out of control I'm crying all the time and feel so low and like a failure as I suffered this with my first born and tryed everything to stop it happening this time around. I feel like it robs u of being the best parent u can be and all I want is to be happy and maybe a hug now and again. I dont have much support around me as I have lost both parents I'm trying my best to stay positive and being trained in MH have already reached out for help and been started on sertraline and the CMHT is getting involved. I know I
U cant force anyone to be there or communicate but has anyone else experienced this with a partner does it get better I feel like I'm at a loss here and maybe I'm best ending things but then the anxiety creeps in and I'm scared hes hurting too and just wont say. I have put measures in place to start a new routine and get myself out even a short walk to try deal with it but sometimes im even too anxious to answer the phone. I wish there was a magic cure for mental illness but it's hard to escape what's in your own head
mamaskelz · 04/01/2020 22:51
I can't relate to all of your concerns but I wanted to share some experiences that I've had.
I had a hard pregnancy with my DS and a horrible birth ending in a C section. The hardest thing I've ever done is recover from that operation and you've got a 4 year old! I really think you need to give yourself more credit for what you're actually doing, I really do.
I had PND and tried to mange for months before going on sertraline and it changed everything. Give it a few weeks or so to kick in and things will start picking up. You'll be exhausted with two kids, feeling low and not having much support. Everything you're feeling is 100% normal for your current situation and the feeling of spiralling in to anxiety is very frightening and overwhelming. Please don't keep all this to yourself, never stop talking.
I know it must be hard that your partner isn't supporting you as much as you'd like but there are other places you can gain support from when your meds start to kick in. Mum and baby groups etc, it'll make you feel connected and what I think you're missing is connection to people who understand how you feel. Have you ever looked at any TED talks on you tube until you feel up to going out?
If you can manage mental health, recover from an major operation, raise two kids, work on your personal growth and keep all that shit together then there's nothing you can't do.
You got this sis ✌🏻
Lm26x · 05/01/2020 02:08
What an amazing reply thank you. I will have a look at the Ted talks and try wait out the sertraline working.
I just wish he would try understand but after everything all the dissapearing ect I have lost any trust and now a paranoid wreck and not very fun to be around. But if i can beat mental health on my own with 2 kids and he doesnt change i dont need him when i finally get better and he doesnt deserve my self growth and to be around a happy me because if he cant accept me like this he doesnt deserve me at all
Trying to be positive can be difficult but I will get there
Thanks so much for sharing your experience amazing a problem shared really can be a problem halfed xox
Lm26x · 08/01/2020 17:36
Hey thanks for checking in
My sons in hospital unwell so heads a mess plus my paranoia and trust issues are so bad just now because of my partners behaviour of dissapearing and all the lies. I just domt know where to go from here I feel so unwanted and when I try and express myself I'm shot down and my mental health is blamed and I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. He added an ex partner on social media a week ago after he met her when we were out and never told me she was there at the same time. I know imnprobs over reacting but I just feel hurt and insecure and hes doing nothing to help but blame me for the faults in our relationship. Its supposed to be a happy time and it's been a nightmare the pregnancy was too
I hope this all ends x
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.