Worried about post natal depression second time round, any positive stories please?

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Hello, I'm 29 weeks pregnant with my second and I've had panics on and off throughout this pregnancy that I'll suffer with post natal depression again. It's just something that haunts me in the background all the time. This scares me as I was not in a good place after the birth of my first. I responded brilliantly to antidepressants when I finally went to see the dr 3 months down the line and weaned off them after about 2 years.

I keep swaying between thinking that if the worst happens then I can start on the tablets again and I'll be ok but also keep thinking that I don't deserve to feel like that again, it was just so hideous.

I've made my GP aware that I'm worried about it returning and I did ask if I could restart the antidepressants ahead of baby being born but we decided that as I'm currently generally ok it wouldn't be right to start them on a pre-emptive basis. He has tried reassuring me that should I want to start them again after birth I can, but no matter how many times he tells me this, I just can't help but panic and worry that I'll end up as bad as last time.

Has anyone got any positive experiences of not having post natal depression second time round after suffering first time round?

Thank you x

My second baby cured me of the last remnants of PND from my first child.

I could never understand anyone who said babies were joyful and you would feel euphoria as I was hit with PND the moment he was born.

I can honestly say having a second child has been the best thing I've ever done. I have felt that euphoria and felt the joy that everyone talks about and I am beyond grateful. I still get huge pangs of guilt that I wasn't able to have these feelings with my first child as was on my knees everyday. But I can truly say I haven't had an ounce of PND this time round.

I had antenatal depression when pregnant with my second as I was so worried I was going to have a repeat of the pnd I had first time around.

I went to see my GP, I got tablets just in case, I agreed to come see her at 5 days post birth to assess etc. And it was completely different experience. One thing I consciously did second time around was make time for me. I saw my job as feed baby and nothing else (first time I tried to do washing,cooking etc). I got a Fitbit and tried to do 500 steps further every day, I got out and sampled the Victoria sponge at every national trust property in the area) I also found a post natal Pilates class for me to start at 6 weeks.

Every pregnancy is different, every baby is different. I hope your time post birth is also different

Thank you both for responding, I'm sorry I haven't replied sooner, I hadn't seen the replies.

I got referred by my midwife to a consultant at the hospital who specialises in ante/pre natal mental health and together we agreed I'd start a low dose now of the antidepressants I was on before, it's less than half the dose. I just hope I don't feel horrendous when I start them like I did last time, but I was in a very bad way anyway so that might have made the side effects worse.

I'm so pleased you both had positive experiences second time around and thank you for the advice.