Antenatal Depression - are these normal thoughts?

[TellMeMore2020]

Hello All,

I am 7 weeks pregnant.

Me and my partner have been trying for a baby for a while and just 3 weeks ago we got the positive test we have been working toward.
Before conceiving we downloaded a fertility app, changed our diet and even got some advice from our GP about folic acid and other helpful vitamins. Each month my period arrived I felt a tinge of sadness and i looked longingly at other colleagues in work with baby bumps. So you could say being pregnant was something we had our hearts set on!

I've suffered with anxiety and depression in the past and have been on a steady course of Prozac for years. But when I knew I was pregnant my GP told me to stop taking them as is can affect the babys heart.

Now I'm pregnant I am a different woman.

I am hating my partner - he seems like a different man to me. He is not understanding how I am feeling/ why I'm so tired/down. Apparently I am exaggerating how I am feeling. This just pushed me away from him further.

Being pregnant is not making me happy. I am down, barely eating, sleeping about 17 hours a day and have regretful feelings about being pregnant - so much so - I have had thoughts of abortion and suicide.
I am very confused - I WANTED THIS ---RIGHT?!!!

We had an early scan this week to make sure everything was OK. The sonographer showed us the babys heartbeat - I cried happy tears.

But today is another story. I'm back to having regrets, hating on my partner, and feeling like my life is over as I know it.

What do I do :(

I am literally rife with confusion

I felt similar, it went at around 13 weeks when the other symptoms subsided.

Not to worry you but I did go on to have PND so I would mention this to your midwife when you see her.

Be kind to yourself, your body is going through a lot at the moment. You won't feel like this the whole time x

I had awful antenatal depression. It started when I was about 12 weeks. I have a history of depression and anxiety too but this was something else. I felt incredibly detached from everything and everyone. Had no feelings for my DH or my existing DS. I just found them both incredibly irritating. At times I also hated my DH although he was trying to be supportive. I wanted a divorce and an abortion. It was very weird.

Mine suddenly lifted at around 11/12 weeks but I also started to miscarry at this time (it was a missed miscarriage) so I don't know if the depression would have continued had the pregnancy carried on.

To be clear antenatal depression does not mean you are going to miscarry. It's unrelated. But just explaining what happened to me.

Did you come off them suddenly, OP? This could be a big factor in how you're feeling.

@EllenRipley Yes I did purely because my GP said so.

I've been back to see him since and he stands by what he advised me although I've told him all what I've mentioned in my original post.

You need to go back to GP. This is not right and they can help.

Cross post. I would ask to see a different GP. This is absolutely not right.

@MiniMum97 Its awful isn't it - having no feelings for the ones you're supposed to care for.

I am sorry you miscarried. :(

I would probably bypass the GP if he is being so unhelpful and talk to the antenatal clinic in your chosen hospital instead. They take this stuff seriously and of course you can get a prescription in the hospital if needs be.

I think sertraline is safe in pregnancy. Ask to be referred to perinatal mental health, they are much more clued up about this than GPs.

Hormones and just plainly dealing with a new pregnancy aside - which is enough in itself! - I think this may be what's happening to you. I totally understand why you just quit but tapering - very slowly for some - is really the only way to come off antidepressants . You would experience horrible 'withdrawal' effects even without being pregnant - add in everything else that's going on your body right now and I'm not surprised you're feeling so awful!

Don't panic, research and discuss options - find a different GP if possible? Seems incredibly irresponsible to let you quit like that and not expect side effects ☹️ I have friends who stayed on SSRIs throughout pregnancy with no problems, some GPs will advocate it. I don't think the research is conclusive. It really might be worth considering it, even reducing your dose as pregnancy progresses. Also be aware of PND - I'd been off antidepressants a few years before pregnancy and swore I'd never go back on them, but I was obviously susceptible to it and had to - best decision I made!

Must be scary for you, but this is a good time to try take control so you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy x

I had similar - I tried to TTC actively with my partner - had sex once and even before I tested, my mood crashed really, really badly. I had never had depression or any MH issues before, but when I found out I was pregnant, there was no happiness at all, only extreme regret, sadness and also guilt - that I wasn't happy, especially considering we actively chose to try for a baby.

I went to the Doctor and was prescribed Sertraline, but whilst it took the 'edge' off, it didn't stop my suicidal thoughts and at 10 weeks, I phoned BPAS and in the end, terminated at exactly 12 weeks as despite support, help and anti-depressants I believed I wouldn't be able to cope with another 6 months of pregnancy.

I'm not suggesting this is the right decision for you - I'm sure there are far more women who go through with pregnancy than don't.... however I wanted to reply to you to show you that there isn't just one option and just because you are pregnant now, you don't have to continue if you really don't want to.

I'm married to my partner now and 4 years later (I'm 37) we haven't tried for a child again as I have made the decision not to have children - I am so sensitive to hormones anyway, I couldn't bear to feel as bad as I did 4 years ago and believe that even if I was on the highest dose of AD's possible.... I think I'd still take my own life if I tried to continue a pregnancy.

Also.... I don't regret my decision. I regret trying for a child in the first place (even though I never expected to feel the way I did), but I genuinely believe it was the right thing for me.

It's a shame that your partner isn't being supportive - I don't believe you're exaggerating anything, some people find pregnancy absolutely horrific and it's not all 'chocolate boxes and roses'.

I hope you get through this, whatever choice you make.