I've always been quite depressed and anxious since I can remember. My childhood was hard, I realise now my mum and dad could of been a lot better. I suspect I may have a Borderline personality and possible ADHD though I've never known how to go about getting anything diagnosed. I've been on many different anti depressants but they all make me so sick I have to have time off work, which is impossible.
I'm actually in quite a good position at the moment. I have two kids, just found out I'm pregnant with number 3. I have a wonderfully supportive partner. We've just bought a new house and since my dad died my mum lives with us.
I work the least of the 3 of us so I'm expected to keep up with most the house work but I'm so depressed I can't. DP doesn't mind but it really annoys my mum. The house ends up getting left for days and days without being cleaned. I can barely bring myself to cook. I spend 70% of the days I'm not at work on my phone, the kids just watching TV and entertaining themselves because I can't bring myself to get up off the sofa.
I have told my family about my depression but they can't help me. therapy hasn't worked for me. I just don't know what I can do. I feel so guilty to my kids for not being good enough. I'm exhausted. Sometimes I feel like I was just not made to be on earth