PND help

[slaps1983]

Hi, i'm new here and after advice. I have a 19 month old and love him to bits but i was diagnosed with PND & sever anxiety just before he turned 1. i'm on anti depressents and saw a therapist.
I definetly feel better since i was diagnosed but still feel as though i'm not being a good mum/partner.
I find that i can't talk about my PND with family as they have their own problems but i really want some help in how to make my relationship with DS better. I feel like when i'm with him he tolerates me, we have fun sometimes, but mainly just sat watching him as not sure how to interact with him. Whenever someone else is with us (dad, grandparents, aunties/uncles) he always goes to them and ignores me. I have tried playing with him and take him out on my own for playgroup and swimming but i get so upset that i feel like a bystander in his life not his mum.
Anyone out there been through this that can offer me some help, i would really appreciate it. I'm back at the doctors next month but dont get any support from HV.

Hi @slaps1983 sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. I'm not yet a mum and so can't offer any personal advice however I'd really recommend having a look at the Circle of Security website and seeing if there are any courses near you. It is a great program aimed at improving parent-child attachment. Good luck x

Thank you. I'll have a look

I think I might be depressed. Im not sure im even in the right place to be saying this, as not sure if it would be considered post natal. I have a 7 month old who I love to bits, and he brightens up my world no end. The problem is our lifestyle and where we live, neither of which is changeable at the moment. Our street always (and I mean always) has some sort of works going on and the parking is crap at the best of times, but for the last few weeks the works have meant that we cannot return home, and I hate it. All I want is to go home and enjoy maternity leave with my Son. I cry almost every day as I feel like I have let him down. We stay with my parents when we cant access our home so we are both loved and well cared for, but I have an overwhelming desire to be at home. Pre-pregnancy I hardly ever cried. Now baby is here I cry a lot, I am still so emotional. We had feeding issues when my Son was a newborn and I had to put him on formula milk despite wanting to breastfeed, even though he is thriving now, I feel like I failed him and let him down. Theres a lot of guilt lingering and I genuinely feel that I will never be able to get over the hurt and upset our feeding journey caused. Im not sure where to go for help, and am worried that I will be judged as a bad mum because of the feeding situation. Any advice would be greatfully recieved.

I could’ve written this post myself. I have exactly the same feelings as you. I feel I’m totally irrelevant to my little girl (16mths) and it’s heartbreaking. Unlike you however, I have never spoken to anyone about this and it’s eating away at me daily.

PND can emerge up to 2 years after birth SPT. Please get an appointment with your GP. Ask about counselling.

You will not be judged as a bad mum. Your child is fed and thriving. But they need you to be well for them. And for yourself