Post Natal Depression 2 Years On

[Butterflycup]

Hi

I am new to this and feeling extremely vulnerable currently so please be kind.

I am a mum to my 13 yr old and 2 yr old. After my 2 yr old was born I haemorrhaged badly which resulted in a blood transfusion. My baby girl was taken off of me so they could deal with me and that’s always upset me deeply. Because of my blood loss / trauma my milk supply was delayed which in turn made me feel totally inadequate as a mother as I had so desperately wanted to BF this time.

On and off during the past 2 years I have been tearful & not my old self at all. I worry a ridiculous amount about EVERYTHING , more than I ever did before and it’s metanlly exhausting.

I am finding recently as my DD turned 2 I am so tearful all the time, I feel completely broken at work (have an awful work colleague that no senior management will do anything about as they are scared of her! and this is the NHS 😢) I am disengaging with my children and my DH because of my work life and I think I am suffering from post natal depression 2 years on.

I have a history of depression but have not suffererd for at least 10 years plus. My DH is so supportive and has said I must go to my doctor on Monday and get signed off from work, but I am already worrying they won’t sign me off, I can’t keep going on like this. Please someone reply

So sorry you are going through this.

I think it’s improtant you get to the gp and just say exactly what you are feeling. It is totally possible to have post natal depression after 2 years and maybe identifying this will help.

Did you get any support when your daughter DD2 was born

Thank you so much for replying, I didn’t think anyone would . Initially after the birth and then during the time spent in hospital because of the haemorrhage I had the midwife who delivered my daughter, the senior midwife of my area and also the midwife who was in the ambulance all came to see me. I was told that deaths during childbirth do still happen etc etc the midwife who delievered her was clearly upset by what had happened - although it was nobody’s fault at all.

At my check up appt I was given the details of the hospital based midwide I could talk to and go through all my hospital notes with and she would explain what had happened etc and measures that would be put in place if I wish to have another child. I absolutely could not face seeing her and I have tired to bury it but it’s still so painful for me.

I just feel flat in every element of my life currently.