Am I depressed or just really really tired?

[Mammmoo]

I have a 4 month old who's never been a good sleeper (so far, I know it's early days). I had a tough pregnancy with fatigue and sickness all the way through. Baby was 5 weeks early so I pretty much gave birth on my way home from work one day. I didn't have anytime to rest/nest etc...

I am feeling increasingly fragile, struggling to motivate myself to do much & doing thoughtless things regularly. I also compete for the uk in a sport (fairly niche so too outing to say) and am back in competition early next year. I can't motivate myself to train and I'm still carrying pregnancy weight as my diet is full of sugar that I'm craving for energy.

Basically I can't decide if I've got pnd or and just so tired I'm struggling to function. If I go to the docs what are they likely to say? I feel ok, I am happy generally. I don't feel depressed but I certainly don't feel like me! Anyone else?

I feel exactly the same I’m happy most of the time but little things trigger me and I snap at my hubby over the slightest things which isn’t me. I don’t think I’m depressed as most websites also ask the same questions like are you having suicidal thoughts but that doesn’t define depression. I’m scare of going the doctors in case they put me on anti depressants or think I’m an unfit mother. There’s a stigma around mothers, no body likes to admit they are struggling and need help cause if you need help your not a fit mother.

It took me until around 7 months to feel properly adjusted to the shift, and then it happened suddenly, so stay hopeful but definitely chat to your gp as well if you’re unsure - you could ask for your iron and b12 levels to be checked in case you’re low, as low iron can really leave you feeling floaty and flat and weird in my experience.

If you don’t feel ready to train, don’t. 4 months is not a great deal of time for pelvic floor/abs/spine to recover from the weight bearing/misalignment/relaxin of pregnancy or the work and potential damage of childbirth. I’m still seeing significant improvements in my pelvic floor at 13 months pp - 4 months in (even doing daily post-natal Pilates and pelvic floor physio) it was still royally fucked.

I think if you’re used to having a body that’s fit and responsive to your demands on it, early motherhood comes as a huge shock and you can end up feeling like your body is some sort of unfamiliar quicksand. It does get easier, but takes more time than I expected.