Another one of those days.......

[greyallover]

I'm not sure what I'm looking for really, maybe just a virtual hug.

Woke up feeling frustrated for no apparent reason, now just crying on and off for no apparent reason. I feel like an empty shell, that all that was me has gone and I've been reduced to a baby slave. My DC is wonderful, he's developing well and doing everything he should be. He's never been a bad sleeper or too fussy, he's generally very happy and sociable, yet I feel like I'm constantly failing him, like I'm not worthy of him. I have moved to another country where my DH is from and I have no-one. I can't drive which limits me massively, I find myself wandering around the supermarket just to entertain myself which is absolutely pathetic. I haven't had a break from my DC since he was born (he's now 1 Yo) My husband works away a lot so I'm usually by myself all week and now I'm feeling like I don't want him to come back because I'll have to pretend I'm ok or deal with his questions about why I'm not ok which I can't answer. I always had hobbies to keep me occupied but now I just don't feel like doing anything. I get no joy from anything, I feel flat.

Sorry to hear you're feeling like this and you've been suffering for so long. What country have you moved to? Is there a language barrier at all? And have you got anyone to talk to?
You need to try and focus on yourself a bit for the sake of your health and your family. Ask your husband to have the baby one evening a week or a day a week so you can just spend the day for yourself, go for a walk, get your hair done, Skype a friend.. anything.
You should try and talk to a healthcare professional if you don't feel like you can talk to your OH.,they might be able to suggest something, have you looked into PND?
Keep smiling lovely and sending a virtual hug your way, everything will be ok and you have to remember this is just a blip. Here if you want to chat :)
Xx