Health visitor

[Anonymous2704]

I have anxiety and depression, I have had a few ups and downs in my pregnancy but I have been really good for a few months now. I was thinking about declining a health visitor because I have all the support in my house, I have my Mum who’s had 5 children; and my siblings who could help out if I need. I feel like if I need any help or queries i will call the gp. But if I do decline a health visitor, will it raise “red flags” because they know I have anxiety? Or will they just leave me to it. I just want a stress free life when my baby’s born :). Thanks !

A hv is a handy outside ear to have!!! Sometimes it's easier to speak to a stranger. And remember she is a professional who can help with all sorts of things your family aren't qualified for!
Imo your baby needs one even if you don't!!

I mean if I needed the help I will most definitely ask for it. But I was just wondering if it will create red flags because of my anxiety.

They complete health checks on your baby that you and your family wouldn't be able to complete, checking their hips, milestones etc

I felt like that but in the end the HV visits to the house (1) and my seeing them at the clinic weigh-in (about every month, can’t remember) were easy and actually enjoyable.

You never know what you might need advice about. The biggest thing for me though was that they were my biggest cheerleader! When I made it to 6 months pumping milk that were putting the bunting out!

The visits are a few minutes, nothing major.

It's not compulsory so you can decline the appointments. But if you will have anxiety about it then do the HV visits but keep them short and professional, no need to discuss anything you don't want to! You might be surprised and find out something useful/get more support than you expected. At least that's what I did (I'm very private IRL and didn't see the need to tell all to a complete stranger) because like you I didn't want anyone thinking I was difficult. Daft? Maybe :-)

Are you sure? My HV only stayed about ten minutes each time but it was nice for her to weigh DS and make sure he was ok. Also got lots of handy leaflets and info.

My health visitor is great- she's so cheerful and enthusiastic and makes me feel really confident in what I'm doing after each visit.

As others have said, HVs do health checks as well as offering advice where needed. Sometimes it can be easier to speak to a stranger about things, especially a professional.

I wouldn't rely 100% on my mum or MIL for advice- the guidelines they were using are now 30 years old (in my case anyway) so there's a lot to be said for a good HV.

HV does not do the hip check, GP does.

I’ve found HV either a bit “meh” or actually incredibly useful. Mostly I really didn’t need her input, but then I needed some support regarding middle child’s behaviour and getting some referrals and she was a great help. Don’t cut off your options.

A health visitors also weighs and charts the baby's growth and development

Health Visitors are qualified nurses who have done their HV training. They are highly qualified in all areas of child development, child care and maternal health. Most are now nurse prescribers, which can be very handy if getting to see your GP is a faff.

You can refuse to have a HV but it is logged. If ever a problem occurred with say an injury that medical staff were uneasy about, not having a HV would be a concern.

Thanks guys! I’ve just heard so many negative stories about them being intrusive. My friend is also pregnant and was telling me about how the health visitor was complaining about the smell of smoke when nobody smokes in the house, I don’t want my baby taken away and i don’t want her to check my whole house because it’s not the most perfect and clean at all times!!

You're perfectly able to, but why do you want to refuse? I really liked mine, she came and did checks on DC, weighed him, gave him books and was impartial when I had issues with family which didn't appear until I had had DC. She also came and held DC while I showered and ate which is surely not part of her job description. Sadly she has now left and I will be allocated a new one with DC2 shortly.

It's also nice to be able to call them and get through to discuss any health queries without having to wait for a GP appointment.

I think you might find that the Health Visiting service will be involved until your child is 5 (GIRFEC legislation in Scotland).

Please don't write them off. Mine quite literally saved my life by dropping everything she was doing to help me when I had a complete breakdown when DD was nine months old. I will never, ever forget her.

They aren't coming to judge you or your anxiety. In fact, the best thing you can possibly do for yourself and your family is to be completely open with them. They will give you as much or as little help as you ask for and can also be incredibly useful if you need a quick referral or access to specialist help.

I am biased, but have found the health visitor to be a real lifeline. I would urge you to open mind and your home to them.

I think mine only came to the house once, twice at most.

re your last post: They don't come and check the house or take your baby away! Mine only ever went in the lounge or kitchen and that was only because I was moving around and she was following and talking to me. She also said she expected most houses to look like a whirlwind had gone through them after a baby had arrived. I think you're equating the social services horror stories with health visitors.

If you don't like your health visitor you can always request a different one that you do like.

I was terrified of having a health visitor come round,however she is lovely! It’s nice for an outsiders point of view :) x

A HV would never check out your house like that OP. Actually they would be more concerned if your house was immaculate, with a new baby on the scene.

HVs cannot take children away from you. This only happens very rarely if a child is in danger and that’s through social services and a court order.