My son is 2 yrs 4 months. I have had anxiety/depression (possible bipolar) for years but because I have fibromyalgia my mental health issues get pushed to the side.
I'm only at home with my son on a Friday due to my uni lectures (I'm retraining as couldn't afford to work with him).
I feel so ungrateful but honestly I hate being alone with him. He's violent towards me and no discipline works (trust me we've tried everything). He's not like that with anyone else. He's boisterous be usually well behaved aside from normal toddle strops.
I KNOW he's bored and that's probably the issue but I'm in so much pain and so exhausted I can't do anything. I hate myself for that too. He didn't ask to have a shit mum.
My husband doesn't get it. He just says "oh he can't be that bad". Well he's not here. It's just taken 45 mins to change a pooey nappy.
It's not fair on my son to have me as a mum but I'm stuck. We can't afford for my husband to be off. I can't afford the childcare. Its unlikely I could find a job to pay well enough anyway.
I don't know what to do