No support

[SuziMA]

I'm at my wits end. I'm 7 months pregnant with a 20 month toddler to look after while my husband works away Mon-Fri. I'm starting to get very tired and down and worrying about how I'll cope with the new baby & a toddler alone. I voiced my concerns to my husband and he basically accused me of being lazy and not caring about the new baby. That he's got it harder working away and I should be grateful for the life I've got. I'm now feeling even worse and the stress he's causing me isn't helping. There is no work at home for his career and I gave up recently so he's also using that against me. Saying that he's supporting me. He even compared me to his mother saying his Mam never complained and she had 4 kids and worked. I'm just so upset at how insensitive he is and how I'm going to manage as I know I can't rely on him and can't complain

[Penfold007]

Is moving nearer to his place of work possible?

[SuziMA]

Unfortunately not. He's got to be where the work is. The industry he works in is now few and far between locations all away from home. It's a good job/ career so we couldn't afford for him to re-train or get a job closer to home

[SuziMA]

He hasn't spoke to me since Sunday night when he left again. He says how sick he is of me whingeing and I'm not tired I'm just lazy. I feel like leaving him but the stress of that is too much so close to the baby actually being here

[sparklyshoes16]

Is there a chance you could get someone to have your toddler a few days a week? To give you a rest and get some sleep? Give you time to be honest with your husband about feeling overwhelmed and it's a different scenario to back then...no shame in admitting you can't cope and need support

[sparklyshoes16]

Also not on calling you lazy!! Needs nipping in the bud with the nasty comments!

[SuziMA]

I could get my Mam to help a few hours a week but can't afford nursery at the min. That's the problem asking for support is a weakness in his eyes and that I should be able to just get on with it. It's just tiring. I might go to the docs and see if I have prenatal depression and get some help there since it's not at home.

[sparklyshoes16]

Definitely go to your GP they should be able to refer you to a service called IAPT...you need support...talk to your Mum and see what support she will give, could you also try a local Mum's group for support...you need support not belittling...let me know how you get on and it's definitely NOT a weakness to get help/support.

[SuziMA]

Thanks for your advice. I appreciate the further options to think about

[SidSparrow]

If your other half can't and won't support you then what is the point in them? Even if he couldn't understand where you're coming from he could of at least tried and most definitely adopted a nicer attitude and respected your opinion. If that's how he is with you go with what your gut tells you to do. Look after your own happiness, you'll be better off.