So down

[Mammystore118]

Hi I’m not sure if I’m allowed to post this on here but if it isn’t allowed I will take it down. I’m 21 years old I have a little boy who is 2 and I have been fighting depression. Every day is a struggle from getting up in the morning. I don’t even like to leave the house. I have a part time job to provide for my child. Work is the only reason I leave the house when I’m not at work I sit in and my mind does overtime. When I do go out my anxiety is through the roof. I’m scared I don’t know why but I feel like I’m safe in the house even though I have nothing to be scared of I still feel scared. I wake up in the morning and I don’t even want to get up but I do for the little one. I have scary thoughts day in day out. Would my child be better off without me? 😞 I do everything for my child to give him the best life possible like any mother would. I’m so down all I do is cry I shouldn’t feel like this at 21 I should be enjoying life to the fullest but I can’t. I have suicidal thoughts and the only thing keeping me going is my gorgeous little boy. I’m scared that I’m going to get worse and let my thoughts wins. Can anybody relate? Can anybody help?

Oh bless you you poor thing. It sounds to me like you hve a bad case of postnatal depression and anxiety. No, your little boy would not be better off without you. You sound like a wonderful mum.
The first thing you need to do is go to your GP and tell them everything you have told us here. Tell them how down you are feeling and how your anxiety feels out of control. They will no doubt prescribe anti-depressants which you should take.. they can work wonders. And hopefully they will be able to get you some immediate counselling.
Hang in there. You are young and this is a difficult time in your life but you will get past this.
Do you have anybody you can talk to? Close friends? A parent? That will help too.
Keep your job if you can - working is good for your mental health as well as your pocket.
Hugs x