PND with number one, am I mad to consider another?

[FreiasBathtub]

DD1 is approaching her third birthday and DH and I have sort of drifted into an agreement that we'll try for number 2 in the new year. And suddenly it's hit me and I'm terrified.

DD1 was a difficult birth, unexpected stay in NICU etc and everyone I talk to seems to think that's why I went under with PND. But it's not. I've a loooooooong history of depression/anxiety and I did ALL the right things throughout my pregnancy (including long-term therapy), I was so careful and I still went mad.

I'm so worried that if I have another child, the same thing will happen. I can't bear the thought of DD1 seeing and remembering me in that kind of state. I was on Sertraline (lowish dose) from about a month after DD1 was born - I came off it this August preparatory to TTC but am now about a week back into it as I just couldn't cope. There's lots of other things going on in my life at the moment (failing to sell our house, failing my driving test, career stagnating) but really it all comes back to a second child, as many of these become easier decisions if we don't have one.

Has anyone got stories of two lots of PND and a reasonably intact family at the end of it? I am so scared.

I could have written this post. DS1 was a very difficult birth, emergency intervention, knot in cord and then a stay in NICU. I was prescribed setraline when he was around 6 months old and was diagnosed with PND and anxiety. I couldn't sleep or take him out of the house because I was convinced he would die, I was crying constantly, wouldn't let DH go to work etc...

The setraline helped and I was on 150mg when we accidently fell pregnant when DS1 was 10 months old. My first thought, like you, was that I couldn't go through that again. I talked it through with my GP and my midwife and they both agreed that i should stay on the setraline and it wouldn't cause any harm during the pregnancy. In fact my dose was increased to 200mg at around 7 months.

DS2 was another unexpected birth at 35 weeks and a stay in NICU. The midwifery team were fantastic and automatically gave me a community mental health team to work with from birth. They rang or visited every day to see how I was doing (not in an intrusive manner) and I did have a very difficult few days about a week after he was born as the tearful episodes and sense of doom returned.

I am really pleased to say that that soon passed and with the support of my DH, the health visitors and CMT I did not develop PND with DS2. But, if I had have done, I would have had all the support around me that I needed.

It's so difficult not to be scared but there is absolutely nothing to say that a second child will be the same. I've been where you are and am luckily out of the other side now, but you might be pleasantly surprised. Speak with your GP or call the HV team and discuss with them that you're thinking of having another and what steps they can put in place to provide additional support - having a plan of action might help to relieve some of your anxieties :)

Prescribed setraline when he was 6 WEEKS old, not months. I suspect I have struggled with depression and anxiety since my teens but nothing ever diagnosed as I haven't sought help.

stinky thank you for replying, that's very reassuring. I've talked to my GP and she's referring me to various perinatal mental health people to help me make a plan (you're right, that is something that helps with my anxiety). I guess I just can't decide whether the bit of me screaming 'don't do it!!' is my anxiety or the voice of reason!

This is me right now as well, just too scared to try for number 2.

I was changed on to Sertraline from Venlafaxine while pregnant, apparently it is one of the safer ones. Talk to your gp and get a plan in place for what to do medication wise and be honest with your midwife and health visitor about your concerns so they know what to look for.

I got good support when i was pregnant and after as they thought i would be high risk for PND.