I’m a new mum with a 3 month old little girl who I adore. She was very poorly with meconium aspiration at birth and she was in hospital for 6 weeks after a cat 1 emergency c section at 41 weeks.
I’m in good health and she’s now on the mend although still on home oxygen but I’m finding it really hard to get over everything that happened this summer. I think about the birth and how close we came to losing her constantly - replaying everything over and over blaming myself for every tiny clue I missed.
I’ve been to the doctor and although she accepts i’ve got anxiety and PTSD the wait for any counselling/birthstories is 6 months. I really feel like I need some counselling sooner than that.
Does anyone have experience of the NHS v’s private services available? Or any helplines?
The worst time is at night once she’s asleep. I just can’t stop thinking about what could have happened even though it didn’t and how I couldn’t have coped not getting to wake up to her smiling face everyday.