I need advice.

[Megan2017]

Sorry for the long post..
I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl nearly 5 months ago.
In the first few weeks I was so proud of how I was managing everything, I never had felt love like it, we had such an amazing bond.
However the last few weeks, I felt we have lost that, I don't feel able to cope anymore, I daren't be on my own with her, I used to never be able to leave her for even a few minutes to go the shop, now I take her to my mums every day for hours , which I can't wait for , when I am on my own with her I try my best to just make sure she goes to sleep, & if she isn't , I always put her down I don't feel like I can hold her, even when she's crying all I want her to do is stop. I can't handle it.
It breaks my heart when I see how my mum & my partner can make her look so happy , & laugh all the time & when she's with me all she does is cry & cry.
I recently spoke to my partner about this, & he is a huge support , but I know how much it is hurting him to know I'm feeling this way.
I already take anti depressants and have done for many years.
I just want to know if there's people who have felt this way, as it really is breaking me that I can feel like this , when I've got the most precious thing in my life.
Has anyone got some advice on how they got through this. Im desperate 😔😔

Hi Megan,
Sounds like you are going through a pretty difficult time at the moment. Have you thought about talking to the gp/ health visitor? It may be that you need your medication tweaking slightly or maybe some extra support? Hormones are still settling down at 5 months postpartum and that can definitely affect your mental health. Keep telling people how you feel. Sending hugs your way. I hope things improve for you soon :)

Hi, thankyou so much for your reply.
I have been to the doctors & spoke to them & she's just told me to up the ones I am on already, she was a bit useless really,
I'm worried about speaking to the health visitor about it as I feel like a failure & don't want them to think that too, silly I know because their there to help, but I feel I shouldn't feel this way at all😔
Thankyou , x

Ahh I know exactly how you feel. I have been worried about telling health visitors things before but they have been so unjudgemental, have given sound advice and maybe most importantly just sat and listened to me. Mental health issues are so so common it's just a shame that people don't talk about them more often. You are not a failure at all. The fact that you are identifying how you feel, the impact on your child and are wanting help shows that you are a good mum! Being a parent is hard enough without being ill as well. Definitely seek support and advice from your health visitor - it is part of the job role after all :)
Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. You will get there :)

Please do speak to your HV, they really have seen and heard it all before. They won't judge but will be able to get you some support.
I can't say that I know what you're going through but I had a similar experience and am now out of the other side thanks to a combination of drugs, family support and a great team of health professionals.
Just keep keeping on. You'll get there.