Is this PND?

[EmilyRosanne]

I have two children, my youngest being 4 months old. With my first I vaguely remember the being tired/grumpy stage but nothing like this. However we have had a rough start with second DC and not sure if how I feel is just a normal reaction to it all or something more..

My pregnancy wasn't easy with her and after some complications she was delivered a little early and spent two weeks in special care. It was a week before I was able to try and breastfeed her which I felt affected our bond initially as she felt more of the nurses baby than my own and I felt my relationship with my first born (4 yo) really suffered and as I am still breastfeeding I don't feel like we have a lot of time together anymore which makes me feel a little resentful. The baby was diagnosed with something (won't go into too much detail incase I identify myself) that will massivEly affect her life and means she needs lots of extra care day to day. When I talk to anyone about how I feel they are sympathetic but say it's understandable considering what we have been through but I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. My DP is of no help and just asks why I'm 'always in a strop'. I am constantly crying or snapping at the children and feel like we made a mistake having a second child and feel guilty that my eldest misses out on so much because of it. I feel so awful saying that because I love my daughter dearly.

Am I just in a sort of grief for my daughter and her condition or could this have triggered a depression?

Sorry for what you're going through, and sorry you haven't had any responses here yet.

I had post-natal anxiety rather than depression, so can't shed any light on the symptoms of depression. But I'd strongly recommend talking to your GP and getting their advice/support. It's also worth self-referring yourself for mental health support (which might involve cognitive behavioural therapy on your own, or group therapy/wellbeing sessions). You can withdraw at any stage of the process if you decide it's not for you or if you no longer feel you need it, but it's definitely worth exploring what's available. Meds or therapy (or both) could make a world of difference.

Just because it's understandable doesn't mean it's bearable. Don't try to struggle through alone. Talking to people (the right people) can really help.

Hope things improve for you soon. Take care of yourself.



Oh, also, if you don't get a satisfactory response from your GP, keep booking appointments (perhaps with a different doctor each time) until you get the support you feel you need. A ten-minute appointment isn't always enough to get a proper diagnosis, and it can sometimes feel as if you're being fobbed off or being dismissed as just having "baby blues".

it does sound like youve been through a lot so could just be a natural reaction but if you are worried speak to your GP. I had PND and was put on anti depressants (amytriptalyne) that were safe to take and breastfeed. Do talk to someone other than your husband who also is probably very stressed so will maybe not be as sympathetic as he should be.
To give my experience of PND i used to cry pretty much all day for the first six months of my sons life. However a year on i was completely fine and back to normal. So please dont worry that if you do have PND that you made a mistake in having another child and its going to affect your mental health forever because that is unlikely to the case.
And as i said i think anyone would be very stressed and emotional in your situation. 4 months is not long after giving birth at all. Be kind to yourself.
xxx

Also meant to say, if you'd like to join the July babies post-natal thread, please do! Lovely bunch of ladies there - very friendly, supportive and helpful. Hopefully this link will work...

July 2016 #3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2775814-july-2016-3

Thank you both for your responses.

We have access to a psychologist as part of DD's hospital team so I will book some time with him to talk over everything and in the hope that he may be able to help me work out if this is all down to it being a hard few months or something more.

I did have a blood test which revealed I am hypothyroid, one of the symptoms being depressed mood so my GP has said to give the medication a month as he believes that's the cause not PND but another month like this seems unbearable if that isn't the cause.