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Antenatal/postnatal depression

What is wrong with me

1 reply

Cantstophating · 18/11/2016 12:53

Well, I guess that's the question. I'm currently 28 weeks with my 3rd and I can't do this. I wish I had had an abortion. I hate everything about being pregnant this time. I hate having a bump, I hate the feeling of it moving. I can't stand myself.
I went to gp last week and had a complete meltdown and started on citalopram which makes me just want to sleep all day and then have horrible nights.
I just want it to not exist. I don't want another one. I had a life that was just coming together, a nice house, a lovely husband and 2 children that I was coping with. I have a good job, and we are just about making it work financially. Now this. I'm going to have to go back to working 60 hours a week to pay childcare. What's the point? My life is over. I'm exhausted already with everything.
My husband just doesn't get it, all he says is how 'sexy' I look with a bump. I want to hit him when he says that.
I've also had an underlying eating disorder for many years that has really flared up again this pregnancy, and so far I have managed to lose weight- which I am horribly okay with.
God I'm a horrible person. My life is just a sodding mess.any help would be nice.
And yes, I'm fully expecting to be completely hated for everything I've written.

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7Days · 18/11/2016 21:47

I don't hate you. You feel like shit and things are getting too much. The practical stuff like work patterns can be parked for the time being. A week is not a long Tim for the citalopram to work. 3 kids is doable, it really is, it is hard work and you are back to nappies etc, and staying in but this child will be a delight in the same way your first two are. You are disengaged from the pregnancy and eventual child right now and that could end up being a problem. But you did the right thing by going to your gp and my advice for what its worth is to sit tight for another week and check back in with the GP. Your situation is hard but it need not be permanent. Best of luck to you

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