Support or prevention for PND
MumofChuckie · 29/09/2016 08:47
I'm 30 weeks pregnant and just wondering if anyone else got the fear they'd get PND and how they combatted in, if at all.
I suffered from depression about ten years ago but completely recovered. But being pregnant, having a VERY stressful full time job (I am self employed in telly biz and working up to D Day) and a break down in my relationship with my narcissistic, pathological liar of a mother has left me very fearful. I wake up at night and my mind whirls with ridiculous scenarios, bordering on anxiety.
The ground just feels fertile for the depression to return once the baby has arrived and I don't know what I can do to prevent it.
Did anyone feel the same? I know hormones are probably making everything seem worse. I'm perfectly ready to be told to pull myself together, which I would love to do so I can enjoy the last 10 weeks of pregnancy.
Whateverandeva · 29/09/2016 09:11
I completely understand the fear of PND looming over you, I was just the same (and my when I asked my midwife she was less than useless). Try not to dwell on it too much, in the mean time can you find some contacts to have just in case you do start to feel low. A quick Google search came up with this www.pndsupport.co.uk
Also if you can try talk to your partner or a friend about how you are feeling it might help. Most of all be kind to yourself, I understand you have work commitments but rest when you can.
TathitiPete · 29/09/2016 09:24
I was very down after having my first child and I saw a counseller. I found that very helpful.
Do try not to worry that you'll definitely get depressed, although there's no harm keeping an eye on it and having a plan in place. A much less talked about form of depression is pre natal depression. It's hard to diagnose because it's natural to feel a bit worried when you're having a child.
Also try to bare in mind that you are likely to be able to cope just fine and have confidence that if you do feel that you're struggling in any way you are already on top of it and prepared to ask for help. I think that's important, that you know you will get yourself a safety net if you need one.
Congratulations and I hope you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. The fact that you're willing to talk about your feelings is a great sign.
IceBeing · 29/09/2016 09:29
Totally had that fear and unfortunately it was realised.
I would get yourself into a therapeutic relationship now if possible...begin addressing your anxieties and depressive tendencies. Do some serious evaluation of who you are as a person, and think about whether or not the birth is likely to support or undermine you core beliefs aabout yourself.
eg. if you primarily value yourself as a caring nurturing type of person, birth and a baby could be great for you (although it could be a terrible time, if you believe you are failing to nurture for some reason - like the baby is ill or colicky). If you are career and independence motivated, then how will you cope with having all that disrupted or even taken away for a chunk of time?
SeaFlute · 29/09/2016 13:35
I had PND even though I didn't expect it. I had severe HG and SPD when pregnant so was virtually housebound for 9months. I assumed the joy at not being sick and being able to walk pain-free would make me ecstatic after the birth. What happened was I felt overwhelmed, very anxious and couldn't face going out alone for some time. It took a few months before I felt physically and mentally well again and started to enjoy motherhood.
I wish I'd had treatment for PND earlier but I thought it was just baby blues. I used to cry throughout the day and was irrationally angry at the world. I felt like I was drowning.
What helped: friends, meds, getting out with baby in sling (I couldn't manage the pram initially), buying baby clothes, visits from family, my wonderful NCT group who insisted I signed up for lots of groups and classes with them and picked us up when I couldn't face the bus. I used to go to my friends house and ask her to hold my baby for a bit, while I held hers (mine cried most of the day due to reflux and colic but holding her calmer baby made me realise it wasn't something I was doing wrong)! We became very close and supported each other through some tough times.
I suggest having a chat with your GP and midwife about how you feel now, to get a support plan in place. Do you have local friends or an NCT group? Is your HV good? Mine came weekly for a while as I didn't feel able to get to a clinic for counselling. I also did a new mum's class at my local children's centre (I was recruited by HV as it was for first time mum's who were struggling). I really recommend this as you realise there are lots of others finding it tough too.
MumofChuckie · 29/09/2016 14:14
Wow thank you so much for all of your responses. I accidentally put this is AIBU and feared the worst...
I have my 31 week antenatal at the GP soon, I'm going to bring it up then but I might try calling that link above to talk to someone in real life.
Huge thanks though, it's made me realise being proactive and addressing a potential problem now might be the best solution rather than bury my head and hope for the best. And by addressing it I might not be so far into the tunnel as I thought.
Sunshineonacloudyday · 29/09/2016 14:15
Blank you're mother and don't talk to her for the first 6 months on top of sleepless nights and everything else that is the last thing you need. You may suffer with depression just take each day as it comes if you can get out to baby groups then go it will help to talk to other people.
KatherineMumsnet · 29/09/2016 15:18
We're sorry to hear you're going through this. We're going to move this thread over to our Antenatal/postnatal depression topic, where we're sure you'll continue to receive some wonderful support.
Ella64 · 14/11/2016 22:10
How do I find where this thread has moved to? I don't understand. My counselling app came through for 38 weeks and my boy was ill so I couldn't go. I really wanted something in place as v up and down at moment and not excited about birth of no. 2. But v good at hiding it daily and thinking I'm fine when midwife asks.
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