Pregnancy and Depression

[Blackbird04]

Hi everyone, I am new to Mumsnet and I am hoping for some support. I recently discovered I am pregnancy, I am roughly 5 weeks along. I have always wanted children, I would often dream about being pregnant and wake up disappointed to realised that I'm not. However now that I know I am pregnant the reality is so very different. My mood is very very low and I feel anxious all the time. My partner is pleased about the pregnancy, but I don't feel that he understands how absolutely low I feel. It doesn't help that I feel very very poorly with morning sickness. We also do not live near my family, and I really feel like I need my Mom right now. I feel very lonely and isolated. This isn't how I imagined pregnancy at all and that in its self is depressing and I feel a huge amount of guilt for not being thrilled to be pregnant. We have a GP appointment on Tuesday so I will try to be brave and mention al this and hopefully get some support. Do you think it could be pregnancy depression? I have also suffered with my hormones, so could it be like that but x100? I am really looking for some kind words and support as I feel very hopeless at the moment :(

BB04

I'm no expert but with my first when I did get pregnant I was petrified for a while. As you say, the reality of it hit me. I also suffered with bad sickness and tiredness and this always makes you feel the worse in a situation let alone adding the hormones into the mix. Once I got through the first trimester and was feeling more normal and had the first scan I relaxed and was then able to enjoy the pregnancy and focus on when the baby arrived.

I had no one around me really either and I felt that definitely made it seem worse. If you know your due date/month there are always natal groups on here... If there isn't one you could start one? Have a look on the threads.

With regard to depression... Your GP is the best person to advise. I hope your appointment goes well.

Hi,

Thanks for you're reply, just knowing I am not alone really helps. I'll speak to the GP on Tuesday and see what she thinks.

I just feel horrible admitting to my family and partner that I am not excited, just terrified!

I'll defo have a look for other threads.

Thanks again.

X

When I discovered I was pregnant with DC1, I felt the same as you: depressed and very lonely. If it's any consolation, those feelings vanished the minute DD was born... I realise that'll perhaps seem an impossibly long way off for you at the moment, but I hope it might reassure you that your feelings now shouldn't affect your baby or your bonding. Can you plan as many little treats for yourself to make each day more bearable? I've always found that fresh air and gentle exercise help (and often ease morning sickness too), as does getting lost in good books and nice music. Hang in there...

Hi, thanks for your reply. I'm reading more and more about pregnancy depression and how common it is, so that's helping a little bit.

I am also seeing my midwife in two weeks, so I'll be able to have a chat with her about it too. I guess it's just a very scary time. We will also been looking to move, as the place we have now is very small, so it feels like there won't be any time to relax!

I'm sure everything will change once the baby is here it just doesn't seem like it at the moment X

Hi there
I think the way you are feeling is more common than you might think- pregnancy is supposed to be this wonderful glowing adventure- but most women fid it quite challenging. Especially if you are feeling sick poor thing.
Things do get better in second trimester- it feels real and when you feel movement it finally feels like you're getting something back.
Antenatal depression is common too and there is sup port out there.
It's great that you are going to talk to midwife about it.
Good luck and take care.
X

My DD had a serious ante-natal depression and it was very hard for her. Do talk to your doctor or midwife about this - they will be able to give you the support you need.

Your post really resonated with me as I'm going through much of the same experiences. 6 weeks along now and I've only known for less than 2 weeks. When I saw those two lines on the test I immediately started crying and felt overwhelmed. I went a couple days of feeling a bit in disbelief but once my doctor confirmed pregnancy for sure, I went downhill from there. We were not trying to get pregnant per se, but we were starting to be a little bit less strict on the protection, thinking maybe "one day" in the next year it might happen for us. Little did I know that it would happen SO fast. I wish I had that year back, that I could do a bit more traveling and cross some more things off my bucket list before this. I've been in such a horrible funk, cannot seem to stop crying, anxiety and depression is a constant and the only break is dragging myself to work where no one knows and won't ask me about it. I go back in forth in my mind between thinking that maybe with some therapy I could do this vs terminating the pregnancy (I know, this sounds horrible and believe me I feel that way about myself). I am scheduled to see a therapist in a couple of days and I sincerely hope it helps me find the right path. My heart goes out to you and I sincerely hope that you find your way in this also.

im on my second pregnancy at 10 weeks amd i am so low, i feel so bad, my first pregnancy was fine but this time round feels different, im crying a lot and feeling so unhappy even tho I am looking forward to a wee one coming, i then feel even more dread and gulit about feeling bad and im too embarrassed to apeak to a doctor! im sick of everyone telling me itl be a long 9 months ur best enjoying it as if its easy, no one understands how hard it is dealing with this feeling of sadness, im hoping it will pass, not being able to do the things i enjoy makes it worse i could literally just lay in my bed all the time if i didnt work and have a 4 year old to look after, my partner keeps sayin oh those hormones!!

u will realise that nothing else matters once ur wee one is here i always say i wish i did this amd that before i was pregnant with my first but i wouldnt change it for the world, i didnt enjoy b3ing pregnant eother i felt left out isolated and alone at times cos i no longer could enjoy the things i enjoyed, evryone is good at advice but no one knows exactly how ur feeling! ur life is about to change greatly but for the better and after 9 month ul have most of ur independance bk! x