Accepting I have PND for the second time... So low

[Beastycat2]

Hi all.
I suffered from PND after the premature birth of my first child three years ago. The pregnancy and time in neonatal was extremely traumatic and I was diagnosed a few months later after weeks of not sleeping and unhealthy obsession over my daughter, trying to get her prescribed meds for imagined illnesses, etc.

Three years on and I had a dream pregnancy and a perfect second daughter. The problem is that after the initial two weeks passed I started feeling more and more low. She is now six weeks. I recogbise the signs and after a few weeks of regularly crying for no reason, strong anxiety, getting more and more irritable and having no appetite whatsoever have realised the PND coming back. The anxiety this time is focused on myself.. I haven't been sleeping at all and spend the day obsessing about trying to sleep that night.

I can't bear to go back on the pills and feel such a failure and like I'm letting everyone down. My husband desperately wants me to be all right and has booked me a spa trip, bought me presents and offered to get a night nurse to take the pressure off and I feel so awful that none of it helps at all.

Anyone else who is going through this, I would so love to hear from you.

Aw love, you're not letting anyone down, really you're not. Please go and see the gp. Did you have meds last time? It's really, really not a sign of any kind of weakness, it's just how having babies takes some women. It did me and I'm sure it would again if I had another baby.

My DH took over all night feeds and care completely as I was out of it really and lack of sleep made me feel so much worse. Is that an option for you, or the night nurse if that's doable.

I'm giad your DH wants to help, that's great. But I get that that's a pressure too in a way if none of it helps. I really think PND is sometimes a chemical imbalance and needs drugs and time to right. You wouldn't feel a failure for taking medicine for something more 'physical' so this should be no different. I truly believe eventually they will be able to do blood tests and find signs of it and say, look that's why you feel so dreadful. Mine started very early on after birth too. Sending love and hugs to you. Please get help, no one deserves to feel this ill. to you.

Hi Beastycat, how are you doing? Have been thinking of you. Hope you're ok. Hugs and

Hey beastycat,

Just to let you know my situation is very similar to yours. Feeling at the end of my tether and such a wreck and a crap mummy to my three kids, the latest of which is a month old. How are you getting on now? Hope you're feeling better than you were x x

Hi Beastycat2,

I had PND after having my first child, was on Sertraline 100mg for 7 months, it worked wonders for me (apart from the first two weeks when my body tried to adjust to the meds, that time was awful). I stopped taking it gradually with no side effects. I am now second time pregnant after 4 years and seeing a specialist tomorrow who said that if I do have another PND this time, I should simply take hormones more or less straight after giving birth for 2 months or so. It should work. I am seeing him tomorrow, will update everyone re: details. I am full of hope the hormones will work for me as not too keen to go on anti-depressants (although if worse comes to worst I defiantly will!)

Well, I confused the dates, I am seeing the consultant in 3 weeks time. I am still going to post the update after I see him as it might help someone who searches Mumsnet in a hope for help or advice (as I did when I was not well!).