It's a really tough decision this one. The evidence around risks of taking it is conflicting but you just say to yourself 'oh come on tough it out for just the next 9 months or you might regret it'.
Hmm. Why are we so horrible to ourselves!!?
So I came off it when found out pregnant. First 8 weeks was very hard but then the second trimester was REALLY good. I felt great and really happy I'd made the decision to go drug free.
Then things deteriorated about week 25 (a particularly stressful period at work exacerbated things for me so don't take this as me saying that third trimester will be the pits for everyone)
I still wanted to be drug free. And to stay at work.
Not clever.
I got so ill that I stopped eating properly, had to reduce my hours at work and eventually was signed off altogether by the Occupational Health doctor who frankly told me I was very very unwell and needed to look after myself.
So on advice of my team I went back on the citalopram.
What I'm trying to say here is that we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to not take medication based on some evidence that there MIGHT be effect on baby but we end up causing ourselves a lot of distress.
So many women take citalopram and goodness knows how many other essential treatments during pregnancy without any il effect.
If you had a physical condition that meant you absolutely had to take medication to stay well you would. Why don't we cut ourselves the same slack on mental health? (Yeah, I know).
Anyway I've got 3 weeks to go now and I have finally accepted three things:
I have a mental illness and I owe it to myself and my partner to be responsible and accept treatment to manage it
Trying to function in the workplace or socially with untreated depression is incredibly hard and will wear you down to exhaustion (not great if you're also trying to grow a baby)
Although there is huge pressure to breastfeed I have made the decision to not breastfeed so that I can increase medication as soon as baby born- this gives me the best chance of coping and being a good mum, and I should not feel bad about this.
I hope this helps- there is no perfect answer here but please do cut yourselves some slack. Anxiety and low mood are horrible to live through- be kind to yourself.
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