why do I feel like this

[Kt06]

My baby is a week old and I hate being a mum. I've had to move in with my mum as I hate being at home. I don't like looking at baby things like even just going into the nursery and I don't like caring for my baby. I feel no love or bond. I can't look at congratulations cards and I don't want visitors. I feel like I want to hide from the world. My oh and mum are great but all I want to do is cry. I don't think I will ever feel normal again. My mum has took over caring for the baby because I just can't do it. Please say this won't last and that I'm not as horrible as I sound. I can't cope like this anymore. I have opened up to my mum and oh and they have just said I will get better but what if I don't. I don't want to be a mum I can't handle the responsibility it's too overwhelming. I'm such a horrible person and I just want to be normal and love my baby like everyone else does.

Hi there. Becoming a mum is really overwhelming. There is all the excitement in pregnancy. And then you come home and it's you and this little body that needs your 24 hours attention and it's hard. I have a 10 week old and at 2 weeks they cried nigh on non stop for a week prior to getting diagnosed with reflux. It was a struggle but you do get through.

You are so lucky to have your mum. Let your mum take the lead and take things gradually with your baby. Things do get easier I promise and once they start smiling at you in a couple of weeks. It will melt your heart

Keep talking to your mum and others maybe your health visitor?

Oh op x its so hard it really is a fog, but it does clear eventually. Please please speak to your hv when you next see her they do help! X

Right, my baby is almost 4 weeks old and at 8 days I felt so like you do. IT DOES GET BETTER. Baby Blues is a complete nightmare. Your hormones are going crazy and it does get better. Having a baby is an insane time that our culture tells us we should all be euphoric, but the secret that no one tells you is that hardly anyone is. You are hormone filled and overwhelmed. You need to phone your midwife now and go and see your GP. I did and they helped so much. I thought they would think I was mad but they have heard it all before.
I know the feeling you have is crushing and scary. The best advice I had was don't think about how you should be feeling just start caring for the baby and it all will come. It took 3 weeks to feel like i knew my baby. Do this, get in bed with your baby and get some skin to skin with them. Just lay there and look at the baby, don't worry if love isn't there or what you think you should be feeling. Just look at them, touch them, try to notice everything about them, their ears, how long are their eyelashes, what do they smell of. If they start to cry let them suck yr little finger pad up and just feel them against you. Just do this an try to clear your mind.
You are having a natural physical response to having a baby. You are not a bad person or mum. Reach out for help, it is there. Talk to friends and the M/W or HV or GP. This time next week you will feel so much better if you just stop giving yourself a hard time. You have a beautiful baby I am sure and you do love them I promise. Big breath, talk to everyone, skin to skin.
YOU WILL NOT ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THIS.
BW
X

It's not unusual to feel like this and it honestly will get better. However, you may need professional help to get past these feelings - do go and speak to your GP.

Thank you everyone. Baby is three weeks old and i am feeling so much better! I went to my GP and was started on some antidepressants and anxiety medication. I'm starting to feel normal again and bonding with my baby. Just scared to feel like that again but I'm slowly getting there. All your replies really meant a lot so thank you all x

I'm SO glad to hear that. You will have moments of anxiety I'm sure but you now know it subsides. Enjoy your baby! X

Good to hear you are feeling better xx