Xposting to try and get as much advice as poss....

[muddleoffeelings]

Hi there,

I am 6/7 weeks pregnant with a very first and longed for baby. I'll try and keep it brief.
A few years ago I was clinically depressed, was on Sertraline for 18 months. Came off and managed without it. Have accepted that I will always be an anxious person and have continued to see a counsellor and used MBCT to get through it.
We were TTTC for 3 years and about to go through IVF when I found out I was pregnant. First few days, joy disbelief, fear all expected emotions.
This last week though I have experienced anxiety like never before. I've had severe panic attacks - they have been coming in waves, pinning me to the bed or confining me to one room in the house. If I'm upstairs I can't make it downstairs and vice versa. I forced myself out of the house for a few hours yesterday but was terrified to speak to anyone serving me in shops incase I started crying.
I don't think I am worried about what could go wrong with the pregnancy I just don't see how I can continue to feel like this and be a normal functioning human for the next 9 months. When I wake in the morning I am seized by panic at the thought of getting through the day. I feel as if I have suddenly forgotten how to "do" life again.
I would normally go to the gym but am getting faint and breathless just climbing stairs - even answering the door is scaring me.
In desperation I spoke to my counsellor who suggested I made an emergency Dr.s appointment. Dr says going back on Sertraline not ideal in 1st trimester(which I accept and expected) but gave me 2 weeks supply of Lorezepam (2mg twice a day as needed).
I now feel like a failiure if I take them. I have two sisters who have anxiety and neither of them would even take Paracetamol when pregnant - they would be appalled at me so I don't feel I can talk to family.
Did anyone here take lorazepam during early pregnancy - can someone tell me it will be ok? Please....

I would say it much worse to no take it stress and anxiety is bad for both of you
CBT can help also doing a mindless task like adults colouring book or putting on relaxing music and visualising lovely thing and seeing a mental health midwife also better than a GP they have much more experience my mental health midwife has helped me a great deal I have PTSD so I can sympathise with anxiety and yes I have experience it become worse in my pregnancy but help is out there
And there so many pregnant women that take medications with out it hurting the baby and many who do much worse like drink smoke take heroine etc you need to take care of you so you can take of your baby

I don't know if this would be of any comfort to you, but I was on Fluoxetine (Prozac) when I got pregnant, and stayed on it until I was well beyond 25 weeks (I took a long time to taper off it), and my son is absolutely fine. I know different medications have different effects, but my amazing doctor (she has lots of mental health experience, and is just so sensible!) maintained that her (and therefore my) primary concern had to be me. If I was well, then baby had the best chance of being well, whereas if I was suffering, there was a much higher risk of the baby suffering. To that end, I was actually advised to take some long term leave from a very stressful work situation, and she supported me through the whole ordeal.

I know how difficult it is to be pregnant and suffering with mental illness, but you are doing a brilliant job! By the way, I also have a friend who was forced to undergo HUGE amounts of surgery during her pregnancy, had lots of x-rays and scans and who was on every drug under the sun, and her daughter turned out absolutely fine (she's now six). The guidelines are just that, guidelines, and they are taken into account by medical professionals, but they make an informed decision to do what is best for both you and the baby.

I hope you feel better soon,x