PND and meds hell i don't know what to do

[Spinninghead]

I could cry just thinking about what to write here. I have PND with my second child who is now 8 months old. I had depression during my pregnancy my doc was saying i should go on meds but i declined, I'm not someone who takes medication for things after seeing my mum popping pill for years for various things, just had a negative effect on me. Plus i was pregnant, double plus I'm strong, I thought I can conquer this on my own, surely.

It all came to a head a in April 2015, I had completely changed, gone from a very competent & loving mother and wife to an utter bitch, shouting, slamming things about, and I becoming more and more recluse. I felt so low I had no choice so i saw my doc and she prescribed sertraline.

They seemed to work for me immediately and I was like, wow this stuff is awesome! I actually felt happier than I thought id ever felt in my life, I loved life again.

Three weeks later I started to feel depressed again, but this time it was worse, I sank deeper, hardly able to communicate and I felt suicidal. Luckily I knew that this was the medication as I hadn't felt like this before and started to wean myself off the meds. I immediately booked to see a therapist about the pnd and again initially this worked wonders, apart from massive anxiety I had coming off the sertraline, I was feeling better.

Now as I sit here today I am back in the hole, the evil depression cloud is back and I dont know where to turn. I have no family or friends nearby to help. My husband is the best, although he has never had depression, which on one had is awesome I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but on the other he doesn't understand it either. I constantly worry and feel guilty about the impact this is having on my 3 year old and my 8 month old. I used to be so different we used to go out everyday to different places, now we just sit in watching tv (which I hate) because I cant seem to get out. what am i afraid of?

Also I can only get a Dr's appointment for 30th July.

Please help!

(sorry this is so long)

Sorry to hear of your worries. Not sure this is of any help but I know a bit about NHS services. You can insist on an earlier GP appointment if you are ok about seeing any GP - phone early in the morning and ask for an emergency appointment that day. If you are feeling really grim your GP should refer you to mental health services - there may be a Perinatal mental health team in our area. Another option you may want to look into is talking therapy - if you are in England you should be able to access an IAPT service through our GP or many encourage self referral online. Your Health Visiting service should be able to help get things in motion - they may have an expert in PND but all should be trained to help and know what else is available locally, such as Home Start. Hope you get some good help soon.

My baby is only 4 weeks old and I have been diagnosed with pnd and also been prescribed sertraline, with a review in 14 days which will be my 6 week check up. I have chosen not to take the medication as I am breast feeding, it says in the info of the medication that it goes to the. Feast milk and bubba will get it too. Didn't like the idea of that!
So.. I have chosen to go a different route and try homeopathy. I would recommend it, it's all natural and not like counselling at all. If you can find one in your local area I would recommend trying it. What have you got to lose? Also, if you're not feeling upto venturing out at the moment the homeopath will come to you.
You tell them how you're feeling, they give you a remedy and see you again in a few days/a week..
It's worth a shot. If you can get yourself to a health shop or even look on the Internet for something called "rescue remedy" it will bring down your stress levels, any anxiety you may have and help you to clear your mind. I use this too and find it really calms me down when I'm having a moment!
Hope this helps x

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I've been on fluoxetine for ten years now after trying all sorts of therapy- it was the only thing that worked. I think counselling is a great idea and maybe discuss with your doctor what type of meds you can take- some will suit you more than others- could just be a case of trial and error. Please don't feel guilty or bad about taking meds though.. You've just had a baby and need to be strong to look after the little one. You may need meds now just to get you through this part- It may be only temporary. Also know that postnatal depression is temporary and IT WILL PASS. Hang in there and best of luck with everything. And lastly- PLEASE don't be hard on yourself... You are a human being and one of nature like the earth and the trees so be gentle with yourself xx

Hi Spinninghead!
I back the advice given by WasWildatHeart. Get an emergency appointment at your GP. I would keep the appointment with your regular GP so you can discuss things with her/him and review how things are going. Do discuss Homestart with them too.

I spent a couple of months in a Mother and Baby Unit for severe depression 4 months after my son was born (a story in itself).
One thing that struck me when I arrived, was that first they mainly dealt with my physical health. Daily, they checked my blood pressure, breathing, oxygen in blood and my temperature. They wanted me to sleep and eat well (at the beginning I was encouraged to leave my baby with the nursery nurses so I could go and sleep-I was with my baby most of the time but if I wanted to have an hour nap, then I could simply go). Of course I was encouraged to talk too (to psychiatric nurses and then a mixture of psychiatrists and psychologists) but clearly getting a physical rest was deemed important.

Anyway. All this to try and say that getting out of depression is multifaceted. When I came out of hospital, it was clear I needed to keep an eye on several things in order to carry on getting better: sleep well, eat well, stay hydrated, take medication (like a lot of women here, correct type and dosage of drug had to be found first but once found it really helped), arrange some form of regular childcare (we forked out for 2 days at nursery-this gave me time to catch up on sleep and also go to medical appointments), socialise a little (one coffee morning a week and make sure I saw other friends regularly, maybe once a month), attend talking therapy and make sure pain was under control (I suffered excruciating coccyx pain for 7 months and couldn't drive for 15).
From experience I know it looks like things are stuck and that there's no way out. For me the antidepressants helped lift my mood and everything else followed, slowly (after talking again and again and writing things down again and again). It took 2 months to feel well enough to return home and then probably 2 more months of adaptation at home (organising childcare, processing my hospital admission with psychiatrist etc) to feel life was under some form of control.

This a blog run by a young mother who suffered from PND. She runs a PND hour and a chat. Have a look. Might be useful.
www.pndandme.co.uk

All the best.

PS: 18 months on I have started decreasing the antidepressants and should be off in 2/3 months.