If this post seems abit all over the place im sorry you are all going to think I'm mad!! So me and my bf have been together 5 years we have been on and off Mostly on. So last year I had an ectopic,I found out I was pregnant the same day I slept with some one else, this day was April 27th and my last period was on March 30th. Even finding out I was pregnant the same day I slept with another man had me thinking it was this other mans, which I know is not possible to find out you are pregnant hours after conception, so to anyone else this would obviously be my bfs! But not me because I am a over thinker! So on May 6th I started bleeding and docs told me was a miscarriage, on the 14th may I had a scan they could see nothing. 13th June I thought I was preg again, but turned out the miscarriage they told me I was having a month before was actually ectopic. I had methotrexate jab on 14th June and had blood tests at hospital for about 6 weeks untill hormone levels were down and I had a negative preg test. So on September 18th I found out I was preg again my last period being August 26th. Somewhere in my pregnancy (cuz life was going so good) I got into my head this couldn't possibly be the long awaited baby of mine and my bfs but the guy in April, who when I slept with him I was already pregnant with my ectopic ( what is wrong with me) !!! Anyway 9 days ago I gave birth to my son expecting all my fears to have gone! My bf is Pakistani and I am white I don't think my baby looks anything like my bf, and people have said how white he is! Nobody knows how I feel! Please somebody tell me something weird and extraordinary didn't happen when I was preg and my bf is my baby's dad, and not the guy from last April. I'm going out of my mind when surely it can't be possible ! It's like I won't let my self be happy and this is eating me up I can't look after my son and just cry all day! I have always been depressed and a over thinker I love my bf so much and could never live with out him, and I am scared to death of what might seem to others as impossible! But why doesn't my baby look Asian or like his dad? Plz help me I don't know what to do and have no1 to talk to, as I feel so guilty as my bf doesn't know I feel like this because it makes no sense this post is not a joke it's genuinely how I feel.