I am 15 weeks pregnant and a Primary School Teacher.
I went back to school feeling positive but our Head turned into a crazy, bullying bitch over the summer. I have had two breakdowns at work - one in front of the deputy (sympathetic and checks up on my emotional state of health) and the other in front of the Head (no sympathy, cold and unapproachable etc). It's got to the point where I really want to quit; driving to work has me in tears and when I am there, I cannot forsee an emotional breakdown and sometimes 'it just happens' - luckily this hasn't happned in class.
The thing is, I've noticed I have become more forward, outspoken in my opinions, angry, lose my temper more easily, weepy, emotional and wanting to 'end everything' at times (not suicide!!!!!) since being 5 weeks and as the pregnancy is progressing, it is worsening.
I have tried to steer clear of the GP - I don't have much support around me; DH is unsympathetic, shows little to no feelings, is outspoken against depression (should just suck it up apparently when a friend had it last year) and so is BFF (whose DH was the one with depression last year!). he has made it clear he does not support my decision to go on maternity leave at 30 weeks instead of 36 weeks so no point discussing the thought of me going part-time, preferably down to 4 days.
If I went to the GP, those around me would see me as weak and I would feel very alone. My career would probably be over - Head has little time for those with issues - one went on capabilities and the other is a regular RI since coming back from sick leave, despite her being a good/outstanding teacher in the past. Unfortunately I have experienced the same with me the last 2 weeks.
One thing I have noticed is that my weepy, emotional state and angry, opinionated bitch that i can become comes and goes in cycles of about every 2/3 days. So I have NO IDEA what is causing this: hormones or 'genuine depression'.