Just that really. Need somewhere to say it without sounding daft or heartless.
I have health anxiety focused around gyni/pregnancy/babies at the moment. Have always had anxiety (issues with relative as a child raising me with undiagnosed issues). Manage it perfectly OK with CBT and counselling, so I guess it's mild.
Anyway over the last 4 years I had recurrent miscarriage and 2 minor cancer scares - one linked to a loss. So pregnancy became a trigger. Happily now 38 weeks and healthy.
BUT recently a long term friend who had serious pnd has been opening up about it. I want to be there for her but I sense as well as empathy it's also like she assumes I will get full blown psychosis and is telling me. It's really triggering me in terms of fear.
Rationally my team think I will have anxiety flare ups but can usually recognise these and nip them in the bud. I have a supportive DH.
I don't know what to do. I feel terribly cruel if I avoid these conversations but at the same time I can feel a well of terror and anxiety that she has "seen something" in me meaning I WILL be as unwell as she was (she had an awful, awful time and took years to recovwr).
Just venting here I guess ... I feel like a bad person though as I usually can be there for others with MH like me... but this is triggering me...