Would you consider a planned admission to a mother and baby unit?

[madeuplovesong44]

Hi there,

Hoping for a few opinions to help me mull this over....

I am a happily married, working mum of two (5 and 15months) but I suffer fairly severely with bipolar disorder. Whilst still bf my youngest, I accidentally fell pregnant. At 8 weeks we found I am expecting twins.

I am now 16 weeks and am coming out of a nasty spell of low mood. I had hyperemesis and felt completely overwhelmed by the news of twins. I avoided a psych admission but did need twice daily visits at home for a while. I am now back at work and feeling lots better.

Although I have had long spells of being very well and high functioning over the last ten years, I have also spent a lot of time quite unwell in hospital. After my daughter was born I did need treatment in a mother and baby unit for mania.

My husband and I, and my doctors/CPN are obviously concerned about my mh health throughout this pregnancy and afterwards. I am really scared about how I will cope with 2 newborns and a tot!

My consultant has proposed a planned admission to a mother and baby unit for the weeks after I give birth, irrespective of how things are. I can see the positives and quite like the idea of help establishing feeding etc without the worry of housework and looking after my lovely older two. However the nearest hospital is over an hour away and my husband would be devastated. Also I worry what effect it may have on my older two. And of course our extended family would be very disappointed.

I have obviously a good while to plan but want to try and put things in place whilst my mood is stable. I'm just so unsure on what to do for the best.

If you have made it this far through my waffling, I'd be delighted to have your opinions?

[AnotherStitchInTime]

I think in this situation if you know it will be best for you and the babies then you do it.

For different reasons entirely I was away from my then 4 year old and 18 month during my third pregnancy for the best part of two months (although they could visit me). It was hard for them, but they coped with the support of close family and the school. Children are resilient. Better you stay away temporarily than go home and be so unwell that you end up having to be away from all of your children. Thinking in advance, can the midwifery team or CMH team put you in contact with Home Start so that you get some extra support for after the M&B unit?

[madeuplovesong44]

Thank you for your reply. It will be difficult to make that decision as it seems so selfish but my gut feeling is that it would be so much less disruptive than hitting crisis point first.

I like the idea of some practical support but I haven't heard of homestart before and have no idea of what options may be available. I'd love to meet other mums and although I'm quite a social creature by nature I am really shy with strangers and find mother and baby groups so intimidating.

[AnotherStitchInTime]

If you go to a M&B unit there will be other Mums and babies that you can talk to and get used to socialising in that way. Playgroups can be quite daunting, but IME the staff are really good and introducing nervous mums to people and they also run support groups in many Children's Centres.

Home start is a charity where volunteer parents come to your home to help you. Your social worker/health visitor can refer you, but you can self-refer too, see here.


Tamba here are a charity for supporting people with twins/multiples that have local support groups. Also there is a section on MN for people with twins where you can get support too.