Is this PND or my health condition?

[stopgap]

I have two DS: one who's almost three and still very demanding, and a five-month-old. I also have Hashimoto's, which is the autoimmune version of thyroiditis, and right now my thyroid is a mess (and is expected to be for about 12 months after the birth) and two of my key symptoms are crushing fatigue and insomnia. I am extremely lucky in that I have a mother's helper two afternoons a week, but I have no family close by (live overseas) and my husband is only with the kids for thirty minutes in the morning, as he has a long commute and long hours.

So.

Both kids are fed, watered, clean, driven to various activities, sometimes to a friend's house, and played with on a good day, mostly in the garden or with books. But I can't help wondering about my feelings toward DS2. I feel quite ambivalent, to be honest. I wore DS1 in a sling, fed on demand, played with him lots, whereas I try and get away with as much Fisher Price swing time as I can for DS2, and just don't feel a pressing need to cuddle him and stare into his eyes (I do to an extent, but honestly, I'm too shattered to go overboard on this). I breastfeed, but am happy to stare at my phone while doing so, and if he fusses, I'd rather bung him in the swing, than pace up and down with him in a baby carrier.

Does this ambivalence sound like the beginnings of PND, or simply someone with an autoimmune disease who's completely rundown?

Thanks for replying. I've mulled this over the last couple of days, and I definitely feel down, but I'm still trying to work out of this is due to my thyroid or PPD.

I've sent my midwife an email. She's very responsive and caring, so I know that she'll do me right.

If I'm being perfectly honest, I've started to think more about DS1 versus DS2 as babies. DS1 was colicky, difficult, but he wanted to be held all the time, and it was hard not to form a bond. He was also the most gorgeous baby, and to this day total strangers stop me and say what a beautiful face he has. DS2and I think this is relevantlooks nothing like me or my husband. In fact, he looks a bit odd, and the absence of comments regarding his cuteness does bother me. Awful to say that, I know. While he sleeps well at night, he's a terrible napper, huge spitter, and he's not a particularly cuddly baby, so I'm finding it hard to bond with him. Regarding baths, breastfeeding, cleanliness, all of that is A+, but I don't feel compelled to go the extra mile. I kiss his wee head aplenty, but I'd rather put him in his playpen with toys while I take a shower in peace, even if he protests.

Again, I don't know if this is because I only have so much energy to give because of my health condition, or if this is the beginning of PND.