not sure whats wrong with me

[ryansmummy050913]

Tried for our son for 5 and a 1/2 years, (I have PCOS)
found out i was pregnant again and there was only 7 weeks inbetween my son being born and falling pregnant again.
MIL smokes in the house (we live with her) and FIL is just a fowl pig who barges past...anyway

went for my 12 scan back in January and they found the sack but no baby, i went on to miscarry 20th January.

now i seem to get very stressed out if my son starts crying or doesnt want his dinner or just generally ratty, feel like a big fat failure. I love my son but often feel he would be better off with someone else, my husband is really good he will always offer to help but feel i should be able to soothe my son myself. all i keep doing is crying sometimes i dont even no why (like now)

please no bashing 1st time mummy in need of help

Aaah you've been through a lot and its clear its taking it toll on you .your living arrangement doesn't sound as though its helping butif you can't do anything about it youve got to try and come to terms with it. Focus on yourself it does sound as though your getting depressed and with good reason. I've never taken anti depressants so can't give any advice as to wether they would be a good idea or not probably the doctor would prescribe them. So my advice would be to dig deep within yourself and try and focus on the positives . Your not a failure your a first time mum who's just had a berevement , your tired and stressed and now your putting pressure on yourself. Your baby would not!! Be better off with someone else you are without doubt the best person in his world and always will be. Focus on him and keep telling yourself to be calm and let other things you can't control roll off you . It will get better youve just got to be a bit selfish at times and concentrate on you, your son and your hubby. .be strong your nota failure.