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Antenatal/postnatal depression

Our Antenatal and Postnatal Depression forum is a supportive space where you can share your postnatal depression experiences.

Antenatal Depression

6 replies

candi404 · 26/01/2014 19:51

Hi... I'm so new to all of this. I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant. Early days, I know... But from the point I found out 2 weeks ago I have been a mess. I've been having panic attacks, can't find energy to do normal household tasks... Even having a shower feels like a big feat for me and I've spent much time in bed including this weekend where I didn't even leave my bed. Just before my partner and I found out we moved house and I changed jobs. My fears are now being able to provide for our child even though I won't get smp as I've only started the new job... Even though I'm working 45 hours a week... It was supposed to be the job to a new career... I'm also wracked with fear the baby will not be normal as it had a few drinks over the festive season... And all the stress and tears give me guilt on how it will now be affecting the foetus which upsets me even more. I've tried talking to my partner but he's still coming to terms with our surprise and picking up the slack from household chores I'm struggling with and my moods and aches and sickness... I'm also feeling guilty to let my new job down as well as knowing I might lose out on the opportunity for my career. I feel lonely and abit lost really... I'm wondering if anyone else feels or has felt this way and how they are coping or coped with it.

OP posts:
K999 · 26/01/2014 20:03

what you are feeling sounds perfectly normal to me! With both my pregnancies I was so exhausted (especially in the first trimester) that I could hardly stay awake past 7pm. And its worst with your first pregnancy as it's all so knew and unfamiliar! Just take care of yourself and don't worry about your job - your career isn't over because you are having a baby - mine only really started after I had both DC Smile

dodi1978 · 26/01/2014 20:37

Hi!

I was about 8 weeks this time last year! Don't worry about a few drinks, they are unlikely to do any harm!
Take it easy and get as much rest as possible - I also found the first trimester hard, emotionally and physically, but loved every minute afterwards - and love being a mum now!

You'll be ok soon, I am sure!

cazzy84 · 28/01/2014 08:33

Hi Candi,
I'm looking on these sites because i feel a lot like yourself.
I've always wanted a baby, a family of my own i have a loving partner, but i suffer from depression and anxiety. when i found out i was pregnant although we had decided to not use protection anymore it took me by surprise it happened so soon!
my partner was overjoyed but i was in shock, i'm in my tenth week now i have me first midwife appointment this friday.
i thought i would have gotten used to the idea but i havent, i'm still not happy or excited about it, my doctor is trying to get me to come off my antidepressants because of the risk to the baby but i'm sure thats not helping things.
i've felt unwell for weeks and i feel like i'm pulling away from my partner.
most of all i'm worried i'm not going to love my baby??
please can anyone help with this?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 01/02/2014 09:48

candi44 congratulations and may I suggest a good way of coping is to break the pregnancy down into little milestones. Just taking things a day at at time, eg your first antenatal appointment, then your early scan 2 weeks after, etc.

It is very normal as K999 and dodi have both said, to feel wiped out the first trimester (3 months) as your body adapts to pregnancy. With my first I didn't show for ages and I remember thinking people would think i was exaggerating how tired or sick I felt. On top of that you moved house and changed jobs, you aren't Superwoman, anyone would feel shattered!

When you think about it for centuries women didn't have pregnancy tests, and didn't always realise until much later they were expecting. Lluckily Nature designed us so that tiny and vulnerable as it is, the foetus can also withstand quite a lot, and they're cushioned by our body frame, and think how many babies are conceived over summer holidays and Christmas and New Year, not everyone who gets pregnant has been teetotal or careful with what they eat, yet babies can develop normally.

Your DP (partner) is already showing you concern and being helpful, which is brilliant, of course it takes time to come to terms with you both becoming parents, I expect when you break the news to the grandparents-to-be and other family members and friends they will be excited and enthusiastic. That will probably lift you too.

How did you get on with the mw cazzy84, were you able to tell her how you've been feeling?

cazzy84 · 01/02/2014 10:13

Hello, I was able to discuss it with my midwife after she asked about my history of depression and anxiety. She said this early on my hormones plus my changes in medication leave you feeling a mess, she was confident that by 15-16 weeks I would begin feeling more settled. However they would monitor how I was feeling as I am at greater risk of antenatal and postnatal depression. She said there are midwifes who specialise in this and I may be invited to visit them for support.
I feel better that I dont feel so alone in what im feeling and that there are people that can help me, so I guess ill just take each day as it comes...

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 01/02/2014 10:46

Sounds like you had a good rapport with her and she's been quick to offer support. Smile. Always be honest with her and/or your GP.

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