Strange feelings about baby

[Hyperhelpmum]

She is 9 weeks old. This has started in last week. Instead of cooing and thinking she is 'beautiful' and cute as others keep saying I just keep thinking critically, her hair is coming out a bit, her tongue comes out too far after tongue tie snip, she looks scrawny and not like a cherubic chubby baby, she doesnt smile enough. I'm also doing it to DS 5 - his mouth looks gummy (teeth coming out) he's too thin. I dont say it outloud its just running through my head. What the hell is wrong with me????? I have a history of PND with both other children (I have three). Is this the start of it?

I do think having thoughts that you would never usually have to the point where you are wondering "Why am I thinking this?" could be a Red Flag. Naturally horomonal changes after the birth and all the general upheaval and tiredness of having a new baby contributes.

In my subjective experience of family and close friends I think women have a tendency to go far too long "coping" with what they categorize as normal stress when they are in fact suffering from PND. Is there a midwife or HV you can talk too? They can screen you for symptoms and help put everything into perspective. I think a certain obsessive worrying and anxiety can definitely be a sign of PND. If you have a history of PND you are also more vulnerable so I would talk to a health professional sooner rather than later. They can help you feel a lot better quickly with the right treatment.

I'm totally exhausted and she's not as easy as my last two. Starting to feel like I really resent her :( I know I feel better when on tablets (took them with other two but felt ALOT worse than this) Thing is, do I try and battle on or start them now before it gets really bad? It might not though?

I would think that this is the kind of discussion to have with the healthcare professionals that helped you in the past. With your history is sounds like being proactive rather than wait might be the way to go, but that should be figured out by whoever would be prescribing medication for you in their diagnosis. Ask them to check your iron levels as well as many women are more exhausted due to anemia from the pregnancy or birth.

Just don't wait, see someone ASAP.