When did your antenatal depression manifest itself?

[TheMoonInJune]

Hi

I am newly pregnant (6 weeks on Wednesday, due date June 11.) This is my first baby.

Although I have always wanted to be a parent, I have been so low. Please don't judge me on this but I even considered not going ahead with the pregnancy because I felt so down about it. Not exactly the thought of being a parent but I just felt deeply unhappy and outside of myself.

Feelings I have include -

a sense of feeling trapped (I have a stressful job and feel resentful I can't look for another one due to baby)

a sense of not feeling good enough (worried I will be a rubbish parent)

fear of the unknown (please don't judge me but I'm very frightened of having a boy, which hadn't been an issue prior to pregnancy. I don't know why! And of course there is a good chance it will be a boy - 50%)

paranoid (feel that the handful of friends who know are judging me)

Overall I do have moments of feeling pleased but mostly I just feel as above, tremendously anxious and unhappy and it frightens me.

Does anybody have any advice? I hate feeling like this

First of all, it may be a general feeling scared thing at the moment as you are so early into the pregnancy. A new thing, the responsibility etc.

However, you need to speak to your midwife asap because if you do have AND, then the earlier they know, the more they can do to help you....and I don't mean with meds....more talking therapy.

In the meantime, until you can chat to a health care professional, I would advise taking a few dried apricots and brazil nuts every day to keep up your selenium levels. Selenium has been proven to reduce depression.

Try to join some antenatal groups over the next few months, if you can get time from work so you mix with and get to know similar people.

Buy some baby mags and have a look at stuff on mumsnet to see if others have found similar things.

Try and enjoy each day, rather than always looking right to the birth....if you find it hard to cope, book a date night and enjoy some time out with your partner - lots of little things to cheer you and reduce stress now will pay off as you get further towards the birth.

I had AND about 3 months before the birth and I'm sure it was triggered by me stopping work; I had to ponder and worry about everything. I then went on to have PND for the next two years (don't be worrying it's like that for everyone though!!) yet, with my second, had no AND or PND. I'm sure it was a chemical imbalance.

Good luck and you will get loads of help and support from mumsnet

Hi, don't have much advice for you but just want you to know your not alone. I experienced antenatal depression/anxiety (I think as I was never given this diagnosis by doctor) and had many of the thoughts and feelings you have. None of my friends had/have a baby and I just felt ashamed as everyone I met seemed so excited about having a baby and I saw it as more of a burden despite always wanting kids. I am still struggling with depression and anxiety. I see a private counsellor and asked my dr for antidepressants ( they would not give me any when pregnant). Not sure if the drugs or counselling work but it makes me feel a bit more like I'm taking control and not sitting letting the feelings take control.

I felt so so so trapped whilst pregnant and unable to express these feelings which I think just made it worse. Personally I have felt slightly better most of the time since having by now 4 month old son. I still don't feel much love or good feelings towards him (or anyone to that matter) but I'm trying not to feel guilty about this (it doesn't help) and ignore my feelings and just act like I love my son and care for him in the hope he doesn't pick up on my negativity. It is tough sometimes but I don't want my moods to impact him. Feeling guilty about your feelings/worrying whether its normal/others judging doesn't help..trust me I know! I know how hard it is to control/change/accept these feelings at a time we expect to be joyous (pregnancy) its an ongoing issue for me. Sorry I could not be more positive but please hang on in there and pm me if you need to chat u r not alone x

Well I have had negative thoughts towards the pregnancy right from finding out. I want the baby so much but its just being pregnant I hate. Right from the start I have been more angry, aggressive and overly tearful. I thought this was all pregnancy hormone related but its just got worse as times gone on. Now at 32 weeks I feel I have officially reached an all time low and I'm struggling to pick myself up/get up each day and face the world is a challenge. If you are feeling low now chances are as your hormones increase you will feel worse so try to get help and confide in Dr or midwife sooner and try to surround yourself with family and people who will support you-let them know how you feel. You should not worry about being a good mother. The fact you are thinking about it indicates that you care and will work hard to care for and make your child happy. Also I understand the boy thing. I always wanted a girl but now as the pregnancy has gone on I no longer care as long as baby is healthy. Plus boy clothes are so cute! Try to do something to get excited about baby such as get ideas for nursery or babies first teddy. When I decorated the nursery that was my happiest time as I was so focused on that it was like a little project and it took my mind off
negative thoughts. Other than this, set yourself goals to get to such as 12 week scan, end of first trimester, 20 week scan etc. when you get to each of these dates you can almost celebrate that you've got less time to go of being pregnant. Because it is a hormonal thing if you're going to get depressed you will but just tell yourself it is temporary and pregnancy will end. This is what I'm trying to do but as I'm feeling so low it is hard to see the finish line.