Hi all, I have cut this story short....
I was 27 when I found out I was pregnant!!! I had only been with my BF 6 weeks. OMG I was so shocked!!! I spoke to my mum who told me it was a gift from above. ( My mum and I lived next to each other so it would be great for babysitting:). ) I lived in a nice flat. I Had job, great social life. I thought I could never do it as it was such a whirlwind. Well on 23rd October 2007 my mum died!! I was 6 months gone and my world collapsed. Apparently your body does not allow you to grieve when your pregnant? So 8 weeks after my son was born I became very unwell with panic attacks and very very bad thoughts. I detached myself from my son. I did not want to go near him I wanted to be with my beautiful mum. to cut a long story short. I was very ill PND. ( the details are a but grim to put on her but trust me the dark days where very very dark. I had no feeling for anything, anyone. I was having upto 20 panic attacks a day. I was so drained from it all. I ended up in a bad situation which resorted in medical intervention. I was placed on medication to relax me from the panic attack and a high dose of SSRI's. I was assessed everyday from a medical phyc team. I was very unwell for 9months but thankfully I had a BF and two big sisters who looked after us. I took a year off work sick as well as my mat leave. Time is a great healer.. I never thought I would get through those god awful days of me not leaving my flat due to fear. But I did and now my son is 5 and Im due another on my mums birthday. Don't get me wrong I am scared shi**less incase I get ill again, but I know every cloud has a silver lining. Without PDN I would not be the strong mum I am today. I need to shout this next bit.
LADIES YOU WILL GET THROUGH YOUR DARK DAYS BECAUSE I DID AND YOU WILL... THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CAN AND WILL HELP YOU. XXX PS I STILL HAVE OFF DAYS BUT WHO CARES X X XX STAY STRONG YOUR CHILDREN AND PARTNERS NEED YOU MORE THAN YOU EVER KNOW XXX