17 days post birth and I'm going to gp. Scared!

[cupcake78]

Basically as above. Baby blues is getting worse. I cry every day and feel miserable most of the time. I have headaches, blurred vision, don't enjoy much and feel like I'm only just making it through.

I'm high risk of PND but unsure whether to take anti depressants so early after birth. I struggle somedays, I am exhausted and have had little if no down time since dd was born. I have a lot going on which I don't want to go into but I am surrounded by ill /dying relatives, house moves, dh not happy as he's sick of commuting to and from work, pregnancy was horrible from start to finish.

I love my dd very much but I am not a baby person. I'm finding nothing in life is normal or familiar anymore. It's all changed, no work, no routine, everything is upside down and I'm feeling incredibly isolated and very lonely. It's like the world has suddenly moved on without me.

I'm finding positive thinking very hard to grab onto. I have a lot to be grateful for but can't get to grips with it.

It's like I'm living in a cloud. Has anyone else been through this? What should I do?

I'm finding this morning really hard. Ds has had tears because I can't make Lego with him on a school morning. Getting out the house with a new baby for 8.30 is stressful enough.

Dh is doing as much as he can but his time is limited. He leaves at 7am and isn't back till 7pm. He took dd at 9.30 last night so I could sleep but I had to ask him to.

We have no help from grandparents or family at the moment as they are all taken up looking after the ill members or working. All friends work or have just had babies of their own so are very occupied.

I'm dreading the 6 week holiday with both ds (5) and dd.

Seems I'm on citalopram. Im gutted.

Ds is booked into a few activities including a full day every week. We've also got a week booked off for holiday and a day a week were going to meet dad at work for a picnic.

People keep asking how young dd is and seem really shocked when I tell them just over 2 weeks. Do other people not go out with babies?

Well done Cupcake. I had PND after DD and from memory the 2-3 week mark was pretty bad as I was really struggling with the sleep deprivation.

I started antidepressants which I found helpful. I also got some external help. I had a post natal doula who came for 2 mornings per week between weeks 4-8 - could you afford to do this? I think she charged £10 per hour.

The biggest thing I did was got DP to take over as soon as he got home from work til midnight. I could then cope in the knowledge that whatever had happened during the day I'd have 3-4 hours of guaranteed sleep.

You will get through this and it will get easier.

People are shocked that you are together enough to get to school, child in uniform, you are dressed, baby is changed/fed... they are impressed shicked, not judging shocked.

Having said that an italian friend said they don't go out much for 40days, it is expected family will do all the day to day chores and new mum looks after baby only. Sometimes i wish that were me, and sometimes I'd go mad stuck at home.