New to this section of mn and need to vent

[weloveourfamily]

I have a 6 month old and was diagnosed with pnd two months ago. I have been given meds which were working at first but now am not so sure. Need to make an appointment with docs again but ive got into a spiral i hardly want to leave the house. Theres times adam would cry and i just go off into a daze like hes not there. Oh has said to me but i dont realise half the time i do it. Theres times i feel like i cant cope and boarderline suicidal. I know i would never do it though as i love my son and fiance more than anything. Its hard being alone and with moving house theres not many people i can go to, only his mum who i feel doesnt want me there (think it could be just my head thinking that). Hope everyone else here is ok. Ooo and call me steph

Hi Steph,

my wife went through a very similar time. You're being very brave by saying this is how you're feeling and in some ways it's a bigger step than the drugs.

Your body's reaction to outside stimulation (including the drugs) will change considerably over the next few months as your hormones and everything else reconfigure themselves to deal with this new phase in your life.

Two things will help.

1. Learn to partition your feelings and ascribe "blame" (i.e. that's not me, that's my hormones... that's not me, it's the weather) and focus on the good positive feelings you clearly have (like your love for your son).

1. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. It doesn't matter what you do. Go for a walk (with baby) and feed the ducks/do some shopping/buy fish and chips (anything really). This will help break the cycle. The sun and wind on your face and your wonderful little lad grinning at you will feel like magic. Try to schedule "out the house" time every morning and work it into your routine. The bit of exercise plus fresh air will help.

Oh, and my friend was me in this post:

momentsofparenthood.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/the-right-amount-of-worry.html

Have a read, it might cheer you up... you're not alone!

Your blog was great. Demon child made me laugh. I say that about my son ALOT! I just cant keep my problems bottled up any longer. The more ive hidden the bigger the meltdowns. Theres like a little switch in my head and when it goes it is like im another person. People could shout and scream and i wouldnt pay attention.

That's a perfectly natural feeling. It's your subconscious trying to give you some "me time".
Your baby is 6 months old now. Is there some way you can get out and have some time on your own? If you're in the area, you can always bring him round to fraternise with mine.

Im over in northern ireland unfortunately. I must plan a break though. How are you doing now?

Oh, things are much better.. although she took the advice and is out of the country with baby for slightly over a month!

Where in NI? My family is originally from the colraine area.

oh my is she coming back? Im from londonderry/derry. Feel better now. Its seems to come and go really.

Yeah, she'll come back... visiting the baby's grandparents!

Thats good. You must miss your kid though.

Some days, like today, I get very down for no apparent reason.