I feel so rubbish

[SadLittleMama]

NC for this.

DC2 is four months old and I have been feeling off for a couple of weeks now. I just want to enjoy myself and my lovely new baby but I feel so rubbish. I really feel like nobody likes me and I have no friends and nobody cares. I don't know, I guess I'm just lonely and isolated and I feel like everybody is putting me last at the moment. Things which would not normally be a big deal are really hitting me hard.

An example, which is probably really trivial but has had me crying for the past hour:

I recently celebrated a milestone birthday and wanted to have some photos taken to celebrate ME (not baby, lovely as she is, not family - just me lovely me!). A friend of mine is a photographer and I emailed her to make a booking. She told me she would get back to me. That was a month ago and I realised last week that she's never contacted me again.

Because I feel so rubbish I take this as total rejection, like she doesn't think I'm important (NB I am definitely a paying customer and she knows this, I'm not expecting a favour or discount, I have used her services before). Also that she doesn't think my special occasion is any big deal.

Now that I am 4 months post-partum I don't really feel like having my photo taken anyway. My hair has started falling out really badly (same happened with DC1) and due to what is presumably PND I feel ugly and worthless. And it's now nearly two months past my milestone birthday so what would be the point anyway?

I know I'm totally overreacting but I just don't know how to cheer myself up. Every little thing seems so hard right now.

So sorry you're feeling rubbish but be a little selfish! Get your hair done, a massage or something you will enjoy and it will perk you up a little! I always find it works for me! Xxx

Hello - I joined mumsnet 20 minutes ago rather than just looked at stuff on here just so I could respond to your post! Having a second baby can be strange as you may have none of the 'NCT/pre-natal group' support that you had the first time around. Don't know how old your first child is or if you have a Nursery mums/school mums network as I found them invaluable to me with my 2.5 year gap?
Reference the photographer friend - is she usually on the ball or is this typical of her? If the former then call her and ask what has happened and say you are hurt.If the latter then remind her.
PND is a separate issue - are you just feeling tired and dispirited or is more? The tired and dispirited will pass as baby gets easier ,the something more might not without help.
The rubbish weather is not helping at the moment but it has been a nice day here in South West London to-day so see if you can get out a bit even if it just a 30 minute walk around the block - good for the waistline and good for the spirits too.
If you are feeling overwhelmed talk to DH until he listens and if it doesn't sound too "Anne of Green Gables" try to think of something to be glad about every day - harder to do some days than others.....
Hang in there and keep me posted as to how you are doing.