depression after giving birth but not pnd

[elvispelvis]

I had suffered depression for several years (possibly bipolar) but last years have been fine. My fisrtd pregnancy and bay year went fine. But during my second pregnancy I got depressed. The depression disappeared after birth.

Baby is now three months old and I am starting to feel low and suicidal (only in the morning). I assume this is because my kids won't sleep very well and I am tired. I don't think I have PND as I have bonded with the baby very well. I would like to get some help, because I am getting the (annoying) symptoms I have had previously.

I would like to get some help in form of discussions. I do not want medication as I breastfeed. But I can't stand the HV's I have met. They did visit me often after the birth, because of the risk of PND. I just think that they do not have the skills to help me. During my pregnancy GP sent a HV to visit me. I told her I am fine, just to get rid of her. I am afraid this happens again. I would prefer to talk to some professional.

I think you should speak to your GP. It is possible that you have PND as it can develop up to several months after the birth. However regardless of whether it's PND or depression generally IYSWIM you should see a doctor. It is possible to take sertraline when breastfeeding too although I understand you may not want to. It may be possible for you to be referred to CBT by your GP. You don't have to see a HV if you don't want to, although I found me very helpful when in your shoes. Good luck and take care of yourself.

Also if you are concerned you may have bipolar then you should defo see a doctor so you can be referred to the right support and medication.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way.
Please don't get hung up on whether it is PND or 'plain old' depression. It doesn't matter hugely what the label is, the way it is dealt with will be the same. Pop to your GP and get yourself referred for counselling. Do this quickly in case waiting lists operate. There are anti depressants which you can take while BF if you wish. Also, just to say PND does not necessarily mean failure to bond with baby BTW, that's a common misconception.
Good luck.

Thanks for your answers.
I started to feel depressed but the problem is I do not really want any help available. I am afraid of taking antidepressants, because I think I would be blaming them (and myself) if my baby would get SIDS. I can't stand HV's, as I have bad experiences with nurses/midwifes. CBT would be given a far away from my place and going there with two kids sounds too complicated.
I don't want to go to GP's as I am afraid she will send HV's to visit me. She did send one when I was pregnant. I got a letter from HV taht she will come and visit to discuss about my son. But when she came in she said she is here as GP suspects I am depressed.

This all led me to think what kind of help I would like then. Optimal would be a nice psychiatrist nearby and a good two three hour nap everyday. If I would have money that be relatively easy to organize. Now I just have to wait until next summer when I will stop breastfeeding and can start antidepressants.

I feel the same I'm breastfeeding I don't want to take AD's either but my temper and foul mood will eventually effect my family especially my older children so I'm stuck as to what to do :(

I haven't got too much further either. I don't want to take AD's (and mood stabilators) and I think if I visit GP she will say I have to take them. I don't really know what to do.