PND after baby one, should I have another?

[humanmagicmarker]

Hi all,

I have posted before about PND and anxiety (mostly in regards to health), in relation to my son, who is now 2 and a half.

My husband and I always talked about having 2 kids, but after all my worries I don't know about this. I worry about my mood sinking like a stone again, about how I will handle the ilnesses of 2 kids at once (it's mainly a vomit-phobia thing), and about money and time.

Part of me would love another child for many reasons, and my husband isn't being pushy at all, but I just know from his reactions to friends with babies that he'd love to do it all again. But I keep going back and forth as to whether I'm ready - some days I love the idea, others I can't even handle the little boy I have.

I'm also about to turn 36 so I may be running out of time - I don't want my body to make the decision for me!

Any thoughts, everyone?

I watched two of my friends go on to have second children and again suffer PND. Difference was they were ready for it, they got the medication required and dealt with it.

I made a different decision, I love my DS to bits but I can't handle that again, I hated every moment of it, I hated him and I dont think that I should torture myself to produce a second child just because I always thought I would.
Difference with me is that my DH was also pretty traumatised by child numberr 1 so whilst both of us would prefer a bigger family neither of us actually wants to do it.