pnd after 7.5 months or just over tired?

[PrincessScrumpy]

dh and I have been skirting around the issue for a few weeks as I've felt pretty down. I've finally said "I might have pnd" in our house but I'm not sure if it is.

I have dd1 who is 4 and starts school in Sept, and dtds who are 7.5 months and lovely. But I feel trapped. I have only had a couple of hours away from them since their birth and don't feel it's fair to expect friends to babysit 3 young children. I even feel guilty taking dd1 out and leaving dtds with dh on his own. I just don't like leaving them with people as I feel worried something will happen and it's a huge strain on them too.

My mum was coming up every fortnight and staying the night to help out but the last time she stayed was January and I haven't got any other support. I feel like I should be happy but I'm not - not crying but just feel flat, almost numb. I feel like I need space from the girls but don't see how I can get it, then I feel guilty for wanting to get away from them. Not sure if I'm making sense, but don't know if it's something to see my gp about. I'm scared of taking pills which is why I think I've ignored it all.

DH is trying to help and has planned trips to 2 spas (one was a Christmas gift and one for my birthday) but without childcare we haven't been.

I think it's come to a head at Easter as dd1 was not in nursery (just 2 days a week) and having her home while dh works - he leaves at 7.20am and returns at 6.30pm if I'm lucky.

Am I just run down or is it pnd?

I think you can get a pnd diagnosis up to 3years after a birth, or at least that was what I was told when I was diagnosed nearly a year on!

Mine was after starting back at work full time (managed 4 days for 3 months then was full time) that step up just left me feeling pretty shattered and a totally stressed trying to fit everything in.

You have 3 wonderful children but being a mummy is hard work! It's good to hear your husband is aware you need a bit of "you time" which is fantastic!

I think you should go and talk it through with your GP at least then you'll know and they might have some help for you. I felt 50% just talking to someone about it!

On a practical level, any chance your mum could stay at yours with the twins and your DD1 have a sleep over at a friends so you can make your spa trip? Then no-one will have 3 children. Or what about some of the nursery nurses would they babysit? Some of ours do and that is brill!!!

Whatever, you must try and look after yourself. Best of Luck. xxx

p.s. don't feel guilty about wanting a bit of time to yourself, that is TOTALLY normal