I don't know what's come over me :-(

[WinkyWinkola]

I'm pg with dc4. For the past three weeks, I've been having a terrible sense that I really don't want this baby.

I wanted 4 dcs for a long time. And now I just feel it's all wrong.

I've felt so ill and beyond weary. I've had two scans, each of which pronounced me a week further on than I thought so instead of being 14 weeks, I'm told I'm 16. This has really rattled me for some reason.

Plus I've been told it's a boy when I was certain it's a girl. This too has rattled me.

Worst of all, the private scan I had indicated some kind of reverse flow going on and the consultant recommended a detailed heart scan at 20 weeks to check it out.

I've never had this kind of feeling with my other pregnancies. I honestly don't feel like I've got a lot on my plate aside from this pgy.

I just feel really low, like it's all, well, just wrong somehow.

Could be 15 weeks, co

I felt like this with my daughter - from conception to birth, nothing was right.

The night she was born, 4 weeks early, there was this massive thunder storm and I was convinced it was a sign! I was out of sorts all the way through the pregnancy and the delivery was all tits up an' all. My husband was racing back from London on the train and it stopped for ages at a station - apparently, he jumped on to the platform, screaming "Nuneaton! Fucking Nuneaton! Nobody stops here. Get this fecking train MOVING"! The nice West Indian guard had to sooth him back on to the train and she brought him a coffee from the catering car!

The first six weeks, she cried and cried and cried some more. Ena Sharples we called her and then...

well, I dunno what happened really. She just blossomed and she was amazing. Easily, the funniest little baby ever. She smiled and laughed and laughed and farted, which made her laugh even more and she's been ace ever since. She's 8 years old now and she's currently in the bath, talking away to herself in an American accident mixed with a Scottish accident which she's copied from the CoOp simply "fud" tv advert.

So, here's my advice based on my own experience - keep rocking along and make no assumptions, predictions or guesses. Just crack on and fingers crossed, you'll get a good one out at the end of it!

Talk to your midwife, there may be some hormone change that you are sensitive to. I was shocked with ds1 when I found out he was a boy. Went through the whole no daughter for wedding dress shopping... He is wonderful, he really is the sunshine in my life. I'm not sure how I will cope when he leaves home. It is just because it wasn't what you were expecting and you have the hormones that make you feel every emotion a little bit more than usual. Talk to the midwife about the reverse flow, because when you know what you have to deal with it will be easier to deal with rather than all the what ifs. Try not to panic.

Thanks for your reassuring words, Doodlez.

I've never felt so sick for so long before either.

It's my last pgy and I wOuld love to feel positive and happy. I just don't.

Obviously I'm pretty busy so don't have time to dwell but this feeling of a terrible mistake won't leave.

It's because of the pressure of it being your last pg. I'm off to have my tea, just so you know I'm not ignoring you.

Hope you are feeling better.

Are you subconsciously grieving the fact that this is your last baby, and your 'breeding' days are over. I felt lie that for a whole when o realised we wouldn't be having anymore children. Possibly I'm reading too much into it.

Maybe it's your hormones.

I had to have a amiocensitis with my first son. This made me feel detached from the pregnancy for a while.

I love my 3 dcs. I have 1 dd and 2 dss. They are great fun and challenging and smashing. The lot.

With the boys, I felt dreadful too in pgy but not as bad or as prolonged as this.

I can't get hold of my midwife. Her phone is always busy or off. She's a marvellous midwife but she's so busy.

Sigh. I'm not feeling sorry for myself - I just feel so damn bloody miserable about it all.