please help

[poppypops]

Don't know what to do, I haven't slept again tonight. This is the second time in the past week. My gorgeous baby is 4 weeks old and sleeping upstairs. I am say here crying. I don't know what to do. I had severe postnatal anxiety with my daughter who is now 4 but all has been well for past 2 years. I feel like I am slipping back to that place and I am frightened.

I seem to be obsessing about sleep or lack of and getting myself into a complete state. Feel like I may need help again before I get to the stage I got last time. Worried about how I will cope today with no sleep.

Feel so upset with myself that I might go back to that anxious person. Missed out on the first few months of my daughters life and desperate not to do the same this time.

poppy I can only give you and tell you what I keep telling myself. A happy, healthy Mummy is way more important than a breastfed baby. You've done really, really well to get this far, if you feel like bf and expressing is too much, or you're worried about the effects of the various drugs in baby, and choose to stop, then, well you're not alone in being 'forced' to stop.

I went out to a Mum and babies group (in conjunction with HVs) and it was actually quite good. The were all bf, so that left me feeling a bit as, well, I'd love to bf, but know I can't risk mastitis again, and the citalopram goes into my milk, and it is nice to be able to take codeine when my head's bad.

Ah well. I hope we all had ok days...