Is this PND? Or am I just a crap mum?

[LittleWaveyLines]

I am massively anxious about my ability to care for my 3 month DD. Even though I love her and do my best, she ends up getting knocks which I then obsess over and am convinced have permanently hurt her.

For instance, she managed to wiggle her head off a changing mat onto a hard floor while I was in the shower, so her head must have dropped 2-3 inches onto the floor. I was convinced I had broken her skull/given her concussion etc.
Taking her to the car in the car seat I scraped her overhanging toes on the doorframe... etc etc. I went to a BBQ and forgot to keep her indoors, just under an umbrella - she breathed in BBQ smoke and caught the sun. It goes on.

So - is this PND? Do these little knocks happen to everyone or am I just a crap mum?

You're definately NOT a crap mum. Yes, these knocks do happen to everyone. You need to stop giving yourself a hard time. Speak to your GP about PND if you think you may have it. I just think you're too hard on yourself.

Thanks emilycharles, yes I know I'm hard on myself - bit of a perfectionist!

Yes, you are being too hard on yourself. Of course you should do what you can to prevent knocks etc, but it does happen. DD1 fell off a bed onto a hard wooden floor at about 5 months. DD2 is 4 months and constantly gets squashed when DD1 tries to cuddle her too hard. I put her down on the change mat awkwardly the other day and her head fell back a little with a bump. We had a bbq last weekend and it didn't occur to me to worry about the smoke.

Babies are tougher than you think.

If this is causing you a lot of stress and anxiety you could have a chat to your HV about it, it's normal to worry a bit but not to let if affect your life IYKWIM? Do you have any other symptoms of depression?

Well I'm constantly worrying about germs - for instance I didnt wash my hands before changing her when out shopping the other day, and then worried about what germs I had given her from door handles etc - is that irrational?
I also have to force myself to go out as it all seems a bit overwhelming...
Massively tired all the time, but then I'm a new mum! Not sure how much is tiredness...

definitely keep going with forcing yourself out - are there any baby groups you could drop into? Or a baby massage group you could join?

But I think it's a good idea to talk to your HV. She may well have ideas to help you out, whether or not it's PND.