Hi, I'm hoping this is the right place to post as I have read a lot of the posts on here and I identify with so much of what is written.
I had my son in April and I have a really great bond with him but I cannot bear it when other people pick him up, cuddle him, kiss him etc. It's only certain people I feel this with, specifically my boyfriends family.
When I see them hold him, especially my boyfriends Mum I have this ball of anger building in my stomach. I feel like I can't breathe. I want to tell them to put him down and get away from him, in fact I feel like screaming it at them. My hands feel shaky, my voice sounds strained when I talk, I just want them to get the hell away from him. It is such an intense feeling that it leaves me exhausted after they leave.
Before I fell pregnant I had a great relationship with my MIL, but she got very intense when I was pregnant. For example: we wrote a list of things we would need for the baby and she went out and bought everything on the list. Yes, this was an amazingly generous thing for her to do, but I've never been allowed to forget it. If I mention something about the baby bath, she will pipe up "Is that the bath I bought?". I must also add that we never asked her to buy these things.
I just feel so angry and frustrated and if I know that my boyfriends family is coming to visit I am so anxious for days before. I feel that I just want to run away with my son and lock the bedroom door, I don't want them to touch him. I feel so awful I cry in secret nearly every day.
I know that these aren't normal feelings, should I talk to a professional about this? I can't talk to my boyfriend or my family. I'm afraid this anger will never go away, I don't want to carry this around or have it affect my child.