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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think police could have done more *(Content warning: concerns sexual assault)

10 replies

Anon171880 · 21/03/2023 23:48

This happened in 2018 but has been playing on my mind a lot recently.

Was holidaying in Cyprus with my DS, my parents and older male cousin.

Parents offered to watch DS whilst I went on a night out with my cousin. I will admit we got very drunk and on the way back I popped into a shop for some cigarettes and when I came out my cousin wasn't there. There was a bit of confusion and he thought I was behind him but I thought he was waiting.
So I had spent my last bit of money on cigarettes and had to walk back, thought my cousin would be just a bit ahead. I set off walking back to the apartment but was on a street that wasn't the best lit (a lot of the streets were like this) but you know, I had a drink so thought I would be fine as you do.
Only someone came out of nowhere and grabbed me from behind, and tried pulling my clothes off. I had a playsuit on which I think actually saved me because it wasn't the easiest of clothing to remove and probably because I am not the slimmest of girls.
He managed to pull down the top half and proceeded to try and kiss me and put his mouth on my breasts. I was begging him to stop and was terrified. I don't know how but I managed to get away and ran but he caught up and grabbed me again so I fought back and legged it for my life.
At the top of the street there was a road and I flagged a car down. It was three women who I asked to call the police. One of the girls told me her auntie was a police officer and called her. A normal car came and picked me up and took me to a strange police station and began questioning me. I was quite upset at this point and they werent very comforting or helpful at all. They told me that if he didnt actually rape me and I didn't scratch him then they had no DNA and that was that. I was dropped back off to my apartment.
The next day the police turned up and brought back my handbag that I had dropped when I ran from this man, apparently a taxi driver had handed it in (I never caught a taxi) and that was it.

I felt like this man had been lying in wait for an opportunity to pounce on whoever he could get his hands on and was so frustrated as I recently saw an article in a magazine about a woman who was sexually assaulted by a man who kissed her and they managed to retrieve his saliva so got a DNA sample.

I know I shouldn't have been walking on my own and blah blah blah, so please don't comment if you just want to remind me of all I shouldn't have done. I just wanted opinions on whether the police should have done more.

OP posts:
justasking111 · 21/03/2023 23:53

There's not much more the police can or will do. Happened to a friend in Tenerife who was sober. She had sat down while we walked ahead and turned the corner. Luckily like you she struggled and got away.

Anon171880 · 22/03/2023 00:11

@justasking111 not tried to get DNA or checked any CCTV cameras maybe? I don't know I just feel I was totally fobbed off. Met a Brit who was living over there and she had told us she was gang raped by a taxi driver over there and police did nothing

OP posts:
704703hey · 22/03/2023 00:13

This is really putting me off Cyprus

Anon171880 · 22/03/2023 00:16

@704703hey I really loved it in Cyprus till this happened. Hired scooters out, went travelling all over and had a really good time. We were there for 3 weeks so got to pack a lot in but, I did notice a lot of the streets were not lit very well, if at all. I can't speak for the whole of Cyprus though. There is men that prey on women in every country though

OP posts:
704703hey · 22/03/2023 04:57

Anon171880 · 22/03/2023 00:16

@704703hey I really loved it in Cyprus till this happened. Hired scooters out, went travelling all over and had a really good time. We were there for 3 weeks so got to pack a lot in but, I did notice a lot of the streets were not lit very well, if at all. I can't speak for the whole of Cyprus though. There is men that prey on women in every country though

Yeah I've heard it's beautiful.

Just glad you managed to escape.

Suzi888 · 22/03/2023 05:11

Happened to someone I know- they were drunk, lost their friends, started walking, got raped and assaulted, ended up in hospital. First night of their holiday, still in secondary school.

No idea if the police are doing anything. Even if they do catch him, I don’t think it’s going to bring her or her family much comfort.

People think they’re safe on holiday and nothing bad can happen. It can happen anywhere, but on holiday you’re likely to be unfamiliar with language and territory, less likely to call a taxi, may not know where the taxi taking you /the route. Who knows what the police will do…

I am sorry this happened to you OP, glad you were able to escape.

DizzyLizzyKizzy · 22/03/2023 05:16

I get it, you're scared of what could've been, you're distressed at what happened. Have you spoken to a rape helpline about this, I think taking to someone qualified in the thoughts and feelings you have is worthwhile?

Charlieiscool · 22/03/2023 05:32

Wasn’t it Cyprus where a poor girl was gang raped by a load of Israeli soldiers a couple of years ago and they believed it was consensual. The way she was treated was utterly despicable. The police and courts are notoriously bad at dealing with rape cases here but I think they are much worse there. It’s the only crime where the default start position is to blame and disbelieve the victim.

JennyDarlingRIP · 22/03/2023 05:50

I was grabbed and dragged into an alley by an old man in Turkey at 19, luckily some lads we had chatted to at our hotel were passing and came when I screamed and my friend shouted. Police told me that's why women should not be on holiday without men. I will never go to that country again.
Yes they could've done more.

Anon171880 · 22/03/2023 08:25

@Suzi888 that's terrible, poor girl. I really hope the police do something it's just disgusting that these men can still be on the streets to attack somebody else.
@JennyDarlingRIP so sorry that happened to you. That's terrible but I am glad somebody managed to help you. When I was in Spain with my son who was about 4 at the time, a man was stood at the gates to the hotel and was trying to call my son over. Then he came over to me and exposed himself. I dread to think what he would have done if he had managed to get my son

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