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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a moan? Haha

20 replies

Bernie12 · 26/04/2022 09:32

Do your iron your DH’s shirts and make his lunch? He was telling me earlier that his colleagues wife makes her DH’s lunch etc. I feel bad but I’m busy enough with the kids clothes, work etc (only work 3 days but still)..MIL does EVERYTHING for DIL and get the impression she expects me to do the same for DH. He is getting lazier and lazier, I’ve asked him to mow the lawn for 3 weeks and he never gets round to it, I will do it this weekend instead but he just doesn’t help at all!!!!! I make tea and he never bloody puts the pots in the dishwasher, he moans when he goes to put a shirt on and it is dirty? Should I be washing them?

all he has to do is get up, get dressed and leave. I have to get up, do the kids breakfasts, get them dressed, take them to nursery/breakfasts clubs before I even start work. Surely he can wash a shirt 😩😩😩

OP posts:
Labscollie · 26/04/2022 09:34

He's a pig.

thisplaceisweird · 26/04/2022 09:34

It doesn't sound like a very equal partnership. Why would you carry on doing everything?

thisplaceisweird · 26/04/2022 09:34

It doesn't sound like a very equal partnership. Why would you carry on doing everything?

thisplaceisweird · 26/04/2022 09:34

It doesn't sound like a very equal partnership. Why would you carry on doing everything?

Heartsandflora · 26/04/2022 09:37

Yanbu

Heartsandflora · 26/04/2022 09:37

Yanbu

luxxlisbon · 26/04/2022 09:39

Why do you even do all the kids breakfasts and get them ready on days that you both work?

And why do you feel BAD that you don’t iron his bloody shirts and make his lunch? Tell him he’s big and ugly enough to do it himself and while he’s at it he can do the kid’s breakfast.

Don’t turn into a martyr and do everything and then get resentful and burned out.
It is not your job to make a grown man a pack lunch or iron his clothes for the day.

luxxlisbon · 26/04/2022 09:39

Why do you even do all the kids breakfasts and get them ready on days that you both work?

And why do you feel BAD that you don’t iron his bloody shirts and make his lunch? Tell him he’s big and ugly enough to do it himself and while he’s at it he can do the kid’s breakfast.

Don’t turn into a martyr and do everything and then get resentful and burned out.
It is not your job to make a grown man a pack lunch or iron his clothes for the day.

luxxlisbon · 26/04/2022 09:40

Why do you even do all the kids breakfasts and get them ready on days that you both work?

And why do you feel BAD that you don’t iron his bloody shirts and make his lunch? Tell him he’s big and ugly enough to do it himself and while he’s at it he can do the kid’s breakfast.

Don’t turn into a martyr and do everything and then get resentful and burned out.
It is not your job to make a grown man a pack lunch or iron his clothes for the day.

TempName01 · 26/04/2022 09:47

No way, I mean I would as a favour for him if he was too busy but I’m not going to mother a perfectly capable grown adult.

maddening · 26/04/2022 09:50

If all the kids are at school and my husband was at home 2 days a week rather than working full time then I would expect to not be doing much homework.

I would help with dc in morning and be equal in childcare when we were all at home though.

As it is.for us we both work full time so have a cleaner and roughly split everything 50/50 but playing to preferences

maddening · 26/04/2022 09:50

If all the kids are at school and my husband was at home 2 days a week rather than working full time then I would expect to not be doing much homework.

I would help with dc in morning and be equal in childcare when we were all at home though.

As it is.for us we both work full time so have a cleaner and roughly split everything 50/50 but playing to preferences

Original poster
Bernie12 · 26/04/2022 10:03

Kids not all at school, youngest is 18months

OP posts:
purpleboy · 26/04/2022 10:24

You should be doing less not more, your enabling this man child. Make him take responsibility for himself and his bloody children.
Put your foot down and start making some changes in the house, you'll end up unhappy and resentful of you don't already.

maddening · 29/04/2022 07:46

Preschool aged dc is different then, he should be picking more up, whilst maybe not 50/50 it should be more equal than what you have currently.

carefullycourageous · 29/04/2022 07:50

Of course I don't iron my DH's shirts. He does them himself.

You have to choose for yourself how you live - servant or equal?

Women who do all of this for their DHs are choosing to do it - I accept all the conditoning and social pressure but ultimately you can choose to live as an equal (unless you can't, in which case the relationship is bad in a serious way).

Unanananana · 29/04/2022 07:51

My word, his penis must be ginormous if its preventing him adulting and parenting! You lucky thing!

Not that you'd want to shag someone who expects you to skivvy for them. He washes his own shirts, makes his own lunches and sgare everything 50/50 if you both work fulltime. Otherwise, he is just another manchild you read about daily here. Yuck.

PinkSyCo · 29/04/2022 07:59

I don’t know why you’re hahaing. Your husband wanting the woman he’s supposed to love to be his skivvy is no laughing matter. Why do you put up with this pig?

Allthe4s · 29/04/2022 08:09

I can’t relate to this at all. There are a lot of men around who really don’t behave this like.

Haha should be changed to argh. You need to sit down for a clam chat and what is and isn’t going to happen and why.

Allthe4s · 29/04/2022 08:09

*calm chat even

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