Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be upset with my family? *[content warning: concerns sexual abuse]

6 replies

Overthinker991 · 03/09/2023 23:40

Long story short. I was sexually abused as a teenager by my uncle (who at the time was the closest thing to a father figure I had). My aunt divorced him but over the years really didn't do much to protect me, used to let him come to the house when I was there and at any special occasion he would always be there so I'd have to make excuses as to why I wasn't going. This is a long time ago now but the issue of feeling like I've done something wrong and had to be the one not to go to events for my cousin's etc has persisted, until late last year where I told my aunt how much it's been upsetting me and she basically blocked all contact with me. She was not speaking to the rest of my family the last few months because of this but I've now heard that a few of my other aunt's have met up with her. She has made no attempt to speak to me and try to understand how I feel. AIBU that I feel a bit betrayed that my family are just allowing her to act the way she has and to speak to her again? I feel like I can't get over everything that happened even though it's been a very long time and it's really impacting my life. I know she was also a victim but I feel I've never really been treated like a victim by her and almost like I was the problem.

OP posts:
Overthinker991 · 03/09/2023 23:47

I should add that my cousin's don't know what he did hence why there's making excuses for events etc as they have hidden the truth from them.

OP posts:
HeadacheEarthquake · 04/09/2023 04:34

She's not a victim. She has committed a crime

CherryMaDeara · 04/09/2023 04:44

I’m so sorry that happened to you.

Is your mum/family supportive? Would you feel up to reporting to police?

Please don’t feel you need to protect anyone by keeping quiet.

Theblacksheepandme · 04/09/2023 04:50

YADNBU
I think it's important that you start thinking about what you want. Do you think you feel strong enough to report this to the police? Have you had counselling OP?

GeorgiaGirl52 · 04/09/2023 05:52

Do the rest of your family understand what happened to you? You said you "made excuses" for not attending family events when he was there. Did you ever flatly tell them "I am uncomfortable being close to a man who molested me as a child"? The truth should not be hidden. You might find that some of your cousins really understand what you experienced. Speak out, speak up, tell your family what and why and then decide who you can trust and who you cannot.

DebbieLouiseDairyleaCheese · 05/09/2023 06:11

Yanbu 💐

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread