in thinking SIL is trying to tell us something.....

[tittybangbang]

... my mum, my sister and me that is, by failing to send/give us invitations for hers and my brother's wedding next Saturday, even though we've been invited (apparently, though nothing has been said explicitly).

They started organising the wedding 5 months ago. I assume they must have sent out SOME invitations. I asked my db last week if we were going to get invitations so we knew where we were supposed to go and at what time. He said he didn't know much about it as SIL was responsible for all the organising. I'd be amazed if she hadn't done any invitations - she's very organised and although it's not a big wedding, it's not tiny and she has got quite a few of her own family coming from Manchester (the wedding is in London). Her and db have been together for about 15 years and have three children. I used to go to college with her and share a house with her, so I know her quite well.

It's all a bit bizarre. We only live 6 miles from them and I see and talk to my brother most weeks and we're on pretty good terms.

Should I be reading anything into not receiving an invitation, or AIBU?

Why on earth haven't you just asked her?

Maybe she is trying to save a bit of money by not sending you an invite and expecting you to know you are coming?

Maybe she is expecting your brother to sort out his side of the family?

Maybe she is only posting out invites to people who live a long way away?

(trying to be hopeful)

But you had better ask your brother if you are invited to his wedding.

My MIL though it was very odd/almost insulting that my parents invited her and FIL to DH and mineo wedding as though it was up to us whether they came or not. There's nowt so queer as folk.

Maybe she has assumed your DB has sorted it all out and told you everything, he probably just nods when she says have you done XYZ? etc re the organising, or maybe he was posting the invites weeks ago and hasn't done it?

perhaps she is just assuming that no invitation is required as you are all close family and thinks you DB has passed on teh relevant info.

i know wedding invitations can (not always) be expensive perhaps they are trying to save where they can.

SofiaAmes - haven't asked her because she hates me and my children, and I'm intimidated by her.

I should think probably they might think there is no need to send you a paper invitation because you know about it?

I didn't send any invitations to my wedding, just told my mum and she told my brothers that they were coming.

Why does she hate you? C'mon spill, have a vent

You know you want to

it's this bit that for me
"He said he didn't know much about it as SIL was responsible for all the organising. "

not that you're making it up, but that your brother doesn't know anything about his own wedding!
tell your db that you need an invitation, or at the very least, an email with all the info on it.

I seem to remember that I didn't send my mil an invitation because I assumed I wouldn't have to and it was only when dh said she was asking where it was that I sent her one. Looking back, I should have sent her one without her having to ask. But it wasn't personal, just that she was close enough that she knew the details etc. Given you are close, why don't you phone her and say 'where's our invitations?'

She hates you? That throws a slightly different light. You do need to pin your db down I think.

Bet she thinks your brother has passed on relevant details. One post you speak of her as a housemate/friend, the next as a cow !

An e-mail with the details is a good idea - you at least should know when where etc.

Perhaps you aren't actually invited... (that would be low)

why is it your SIL's responsibility to send the invitations, why are you blaming her not your brother?

Haven't called her a cow. Yet.

Can't c&p as computer isn't working properly, but go into search and put in "to be silently jubilant"

Gives the back story.

She sounds like a nutter.

If I were you, I'd contact your brother, repeat that you are unsure of whether you are invited or not, and if HE wants you to come, could he please find out the relevant details and pass them on to you. If he fobs you off with it being her, you may never know where you stand. Get him to grow a pair even for a day or so and communicate with you what you need to know!

Are you actually invited?

fanjo- she said her db told her it was sil2b that was organizing it all. if she's a bridezilla, then db prob didn't dare argue!

DB is a wuss then

Am strongly considering giving my dc's a family size pack each of sweets before the ceremony and then letting them 'express themselves' freely.

God knows SIL has probably spent the last few years saying horrible things about me and my kids to her friends. She's said some utterly vile things about other people's children in front of me (described her childminder's 6 year old as a 'fucking little cow'), so I know she's got no scruples when it comes to this sort of thing.

Might let them live up to their reputation.... If we're invited that is.

might be better to give the sweets to her DCs, then she can't blame anything on you...

Lol

email her, just asking her to confirm times & places so you don't get anything wrong. word it along the lines of 'db said you're organising, so i thought i'd confirm things now rather than at the last minute. where/when should we turn up to the wedding?'

also stating that she's sure that she wouldn't want you as a family turn up late and spoil the beginning of the service..tee hee