To think that if you are 'phone me, I am not obliged to pick up!

[squashimodo]

If people call me and I do not answer, then why do they then call again 2 minutes and ad finitum until I can't stand the noise any longer. Then when I pick it up and am in a bad mood, especially when it is mil, who has an 'emergency' to talk about, why be so surprised. Then if you ask to talk to the dc, please don't be surprised when I refuse.
FGS, if she rings me and I am not home, I am hardly likely to be there 2 minutes later. Then she started calling mobiles. Then she gets her daughter to ring

I do in case it's a parcel (ever the optimist). I don't get many cold callers at the door though, and we do do alot of internet shopping (although usually delivered to work).

YA totally NBU! I have a phone for my convenience, not for other people's. why should the person calling you assume that whatever you were doing is less important that what they want to talk about (which is usually just a chat)? It also really annoys me when people call back again and again - IMO that is something you should only do in a real emergency (so that if people are, say, in the middle of dinner and thus ignoring the phone, they know they really need to pick up on that occasion).

NO NO NO! You are NOT, could NEVER be unreasonable. This fist-clenching inducing practice drives me nuts too!

I had this from various people, friends, family and business alike. I resorted to buying an answerphone and recording a message which was something to the effect that if I did not pick up the phone I was either out or unavailable and therefore the caller should leave ONE message as leaving numerous demands or calling repeatedly was NOT going to get them anything other than a rude response.

It worked... pissed people off, but it worked!

lol that it's considered rude to not have to answer your own phone.

I never answer the phone. My mum also used to think that you had to ring someone back immediately when they had left a message. As though they'd know when she had passed teh message on.

Of course it is not rude to answer the phone! I don't answer the phone when I am eating dinner, when I'm doing something with ds like nappy changing, bathing him or putting him to bed. But I do call the caller back as soon as it is convenient, so they don't need to to ring again! FIL and DH's ex are terrible for this, drives me bonkers! Especially when DH's ex rings the house knowing full well DH won't be at home as he has only set off from hers an hour ago (she lives nearly 2 hours away), to speak to him.
FIL is always ringin just as I am putting the little one to bed, he's got 6 grandkids from 1 - 9, they all go to bed around 7pm (except the 2 eldest) why should this one be any different!!

Rant over lol!

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YANBU. It's your phone and you can answer it, or not answer it, whenver you like.

Also I don't understand why people don't leave a message on the answerphone, it's what it's there for!

Yes but some people also phone the house, phone my mobile, phone the house, phone my mobile etc. I think my relatives are a bit unhinged.

we had this EXACT argument with my FIL this week so YANBU!!!!

he calls house phone, dp's personal and work mobiles then my mobile and leaves a message on every phone, GAHHHH!!

we have 6wo DD - our 1st baby - and he thinks that we are rude if we don't run to answer his call, which is always about drivel.

dp asked him to call 1 phone and leave 1 message, but FIL got v arsey about it all.

FFS why do people think that you having a phone gives them the right to demand your immediate attention.

they also think that phoning at 8.30am on a sunday is perfectly acceptable!!

Have you ever seen Stephen Fry talk about how rude telephones are.

he goes on a real rant abotu the way they sit in a corner screaming at you "answer me answer me"

it is very funny.

What about an answerphone message

"I am at home but I am busy. I am not going to answer the phone if you call me again in 2 minutes, so don't bother. Leave a message and I'll phone you back.

Eventually.

Probably."

Turn the phones ringer off. Simples. I very, very rarely answer my phone. Most of the time it's because I am happily playing with dd2 and/or singing along to my iPod and I'm really not bothered about what Beryl from work said or what you want for for your dinner.

YANBU. My MIL does this also and actually leaves a curt message telling us off for not being in/avaliable!!

Other things she does is leave a message saying it's an emergency or asking me to wake DH if he is sleeping after a long or night shift as 'it is an emergency' and it will be nothing at all she just wanted him woken up!

One of my DDs friends mum often rings at 7am even at weekends (she rings my mobile) to make arrangements/playdates!!!! really really annoys me. She rings until gets an answer aswell!!

yadnbu, I thought that I was the only one who does this. My friend is the worse offender, in one morning she rang 7 times. She is a bit lonely as she is from Armenia like my mum, and likes to see me more or less every day as I am the only person she knows in the area with Armenian roots, but I put a stop to that. I see her twice a week! The next worse offender is my mother who likes to phone every day, even if I have spoken to her on the phone in the morning, she will ring in the afternoon everyday.

I hate the phone. Unless I want to use it to call someone

But if they're not in, fine.

I do sometimes not leave a message though if it's not important. Is that rude? I just expect the other person to see I've rung (once) and then they can ring me back... Or not... I don't care...

My husband thinks i am anti social and that i don't like people, maybe he has a point, i too dont answer the door unless i am expexting someone especaily at night, and have one friend who is a persistant ringer, three four times then she fones the hubby!!!!!! then the texts start, and not one begins with sorry to bother you!!!! Take the hint, i am busy, not in the mood to talk, asleep, or a host of other options, (most not available now we have two kids and a third due soon lol)

I know someone who was so desperate for my company that when I didn't answer the phone twice she came round to my house and rang and rang the doorbell. When I failed to answer, she let herself into the building when one of my neighbours was going out (I live in a first floor flat) and came up to my front door and banged and banged on it. Some people just refuse to take the hint...

Well, I never hear the phone in time to answer it! (Rings four times then goes straight to voice mail, big house, two kids - newborn and toddler - so I am usually, um, busy elsewhere!)

Have told anyone I care about speaking to that I never answer the phone... if they want to get in touch with me, e-mail (which I can check at leisure when I get a quiet moment). Best decision! Now, I am rarely bothered by the phone.

But I think I am a bit weird {grin] I don't have a mobile, either! Just don't like new technology, really (apart from crack Mumsnet, obviously!)

OK here's the thing...

When the phone or doorbell rings it is an INVITATION. Would you like to talk?

You can accept it or not, it's up to you!!

My sister never answers her phone so people no longer bother to call her. She was moaning last time I saw her that our brother always phones me and never her....

YANBU. I ignore the phone if I'm not in the mood to talk or am busy. The more someone phones and leaves arsey message, the longer it takes me to get around to calling them back.

How will they know you have rung if you don't leave a message? How can they see you've rung?

"I just expect the other person to see I've rung (once)"

CT - mobile phones have a call log.

For a landline you can have caller display (most cordless phones these days offer it).

If you choose BT Privacy (where they add you to the TPS to block marketing calls, you can have Caller Display free - you only need to make a couple of calls a month to have it free). Many other firms offer free Caller Display too.

There are many different types of display from BT and other firms, most will hold up to 50 numbers (along with the times/dates when calls were made). Some can just redial the number with one button.

FWIW, I let the answephone 'screen' incoming calls whenever the number is not displayed (Unavailable, Withheld, or International).

I left the digital 'please leave a message' on, but if it is a marketing call I just hit 'answer' and 'cancel' on the cordless phone to interrupt recording and cut off the call centre.

I didn't bother to replace the batteries in the doorbell 10+ years ago, so tend not to know (or care) if someone is at the front door.

I do pay attention to knocking if I am expecting a parcel, but friends visiting need to have called in advance - I could just as easily be out visiting a client or staying over so there's never a guarantee of finding me in without an appointment.